College tuition and fees up by more than six percent. Amy Gutmann buys new pair of shoes.

A strong earthquake battles Hawaii, religious right blames God. God blames the WB for distracting Him with their exquisite Thursday evening programming.

World's fastest text messager loses to voice recognition. OMG Tht rLy sux!!!??

Bush's press secretary is raising funds, and some eyebrows. Not to be confused with Michael Jackson's eyebrows, which have been raised by plastic surgery.

New Jersey court recognizes right to same-sex unions. Former governor Jim McGreevey and Congressman Marc Foley rejoice with respective boy lovers.

Study shows that being heavier affects amount of gas used in vehicles. In a related study, unecessary fart jokes sweep the nation.

Hacker 'DVD Jon' Claims to Have Cracked iPod, iTunes Restrictions. In future news, Ruckus is teh suckus.