Those first few weeks of classes can be intimidating. But remember, in a world of pseudo-intellectuals and self-appointed financial gurus, acting like you know your shit is half the battle. A surefire way to establish yourself in a small class setting is to use a word know no one else knows - remember how well it worked in third grade when you made Alexis Littleshorts cry on the playground by calling her a trumscroddler? For a plethora of equally powerful words that actually do mean something, we recommend Peter Bowler's The Superior Person's Book of Words. Here's one to get you abecedarians started.
abecedarian
[ey-bee-see-dair-ee-uhn]
noun
1. a person who is learning the letters of the alphabet.
2. a beginner in any field of learning
adjective
3. of or pertaining to the alphabet.
4. arranged in alphabetical order.
5. rudimentary; elementary; primary.
One might use this fantastic word as follows:
"Well done my little abecedarian. I can tell you are going to be a quick learner."
-Senior Girl to freshman boy post-sexploitation
Abecedarian insult:
"You Whartonites are arrogant, bland, conniving, douchebags"
