I'm faded right now. These are the 10 things I want to eat. Trust me on these. You won't be sorry.
Kraft Easy Mac
It's creamy, cheesy and, as the name suggests, easy to make. Eat this baby piping hot out of the microwave, and I promise you a blissful, albeit brief, two minutes of macaroni fantasy.
Jamaican Jerk
Chicken
Try eating this stuff blazed. I guarantee you'll eat about 16 pieces. Ugh God, this shit is tasty.
Lorenzo and Son Pizza
The only reason this isn't #1 is because of the long trek to South Street that inevitably accompanies a desire to sample this God's gift to pizza. If you've never eaten here, stop what you're doing, get lifted and get your ass down there.
Fresh fruit, specifically black plums, green grapes and
nectarines
There's almost nothing as sumptuous as a cold black plum, fresh from the icebox. Don't believe me? Ask Penn alum William Carlos Williams. These fruits are great because they have incredible tang and are firm yet supple. Can't find a plum? Substitute with Nantucket Nectars Plum-flavored drink. I swear to God it's like drinking fucking plums.
Anything from Scoop De Ville
SCOOP-A-LOOP! SCOOP-A-LOOP! SCOOP-A-LOOP! Get some Golden Grahams up in that shit.
Taco Bell
I once when to Taco Bell blunted and ate three soft tacos, a cheesy gordita with steak, a grilled stuft burrito, chips and cinnamon twists. It was one of the three best meals of my life. This place is already amazing, but when you're blunk and can eat a ton, it's amazing-er.
Mallomars
This is the best shit ever. The best, man. Stick that shit in the freezer and eat them cold. You can send all thank you notes to my e-mail
address.
Eggo Waffles
These babies are ridiculous. They come in all different varieties and flavors, take two seconds to make, and are not filling, so you can eat pretty much an entire box in one sitting. These are a MUST HAVE. They can be a snack or a meal and with syrup, you can keep your cottonmouth moist. Get these NOW. I swear you won't regret it.
Mallomars
I'm not fucking kidding. These are incredible. Pace yourself; you'll eat the whole box in minutes. But be wary -- they are only available three months a year and only on the East Coast. So stock up.
Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Crunch
This the best ice cream ever. Ever. Eating this is like eating Heaven. They should serve this stuff at communion because I swear to God this is so good it must be the body of Christ.
