Founded in 1995 in the San Francisco Bay Area, Craigslist -- the brainchild of Craig Newmark -- now spans 150 cities globally and hosts three billion page views per month. Making the ordinary (personals, classifieds, community listings) hip and alternative has revolutionized the meaning of buy/sell. Whether you're looking for an apartment, a casual encounter, or a "sex toy consultant," Craigslist can facilitate the transaction. Want proof? Ego tests the bounds of the 'list by fabricating some bizarre scenarios and watching the takers bite. Would you be willing to help stage a Lisa Frank fantasy? Craig says: You're not alone.
all posts and responses are real.
Fruit De-seeder Needed:
I am a grad student in the U. City vicinity looking for someone to remove seeds from seeded fruits (like watermelons and tangerines). I know this is odd, but I have a serious phobia of cylindrical food particles. If anyone is willing once/week to assist me in deseeding after I buy my groceries, I would be very grateful. Deseeding takes about 20 minutes. I will compensate anyone $20/session. Pomegranates are especially painstaking, so for brave and dexterous "Pom-deseeders," I am willing to compensate extra. (We can negotiate when we meet).
Organic Reading Partner:
Seeking male to 'do voices with me' as I read aloud. I pay well for each session, and I think I'm reading Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth next.
Lisa Frank Day-Time Fantasy:
I'm a huge Lisa Frank fan (remember trapper-keepers in the mid-'90s?), and I've always wanted to act out a scene from one of her folders. I'm really into the idea of riding a unicorn beside a rainbow as yellow lab puppies trail my journey. If you have a pony or a horse , or some kind of prop (I realize it's rare to own a horse in Philly), I'd love to get together and put together my fantasy. I can affix a horn to your animal's forehead. I'm very open to suggestions. Only serious takers please.
Peaceful Exterminator Needed $$$$:
I have a minor roach infestation in my apartment (only in kitchen and bathroom), and I really can't stand it any longer. I would hire a conventional extermination service, but since I am of the Buddhist faith I cannot tolerate harming creatures -- no matter how pesky they are. I'm looking for someone to help me catch the roaches and discard them peacefully outside. I will provide humane traps (most of the bugs are big and stationary). $75/day.
Sexual Tension Please:
I am looking for a friend to have sexual tension with. Nothing can happen, but we'll both want it bad.
Neutral Arbiter for Urgent Intervention:
Desperate situation! College student here with an anorexic housemate (let's call her Cynthia). Cynthia's food regimen has been slowly but obviously declining, and I really need a neutral arbiter to help me and two other roommates confront our ailing friend. Depending on outcome, I will pay between $20-40 for your visit. I live in the West Philly area.
Lisa Frank response #2:
Hi,
I saw your posting on Craigslist.org, and while unfortunately I can't help, I LOOOVE the idea, and was wondering if you would share the results with me! I was a huge Lisa Frank fan in the '90s, and your posting and the image you linked to was a very pleasant blast from the past. Good luck with your fantasy!!
Lisa Frank response #1:
So are you looking to film this? I'd like to help u live this out.
Peaceful exterminator response #1:
I saw your post on Craigslist about a peaceful exterminator and thought, hey, that's right up my alley! It so happens that I also have an affinity for the Buddhist way of life. Thich Nhat Hanh happens to be one of my favorite authors. I tend to capture bugs and take them outside ... my girlfriend doesn't get it!
De-seeder response #1:
I want you to know I am not being facetious when I say that is a fabulous phobia!
De-seeder response #2:
I am over 40, and looking to supplement my income. I would be willing to help you de-seed your seeded fruits. I'm a psychic, and I'd like to know your birthdate. I want to see if we'd be able to tolerate each other.
Sexual tension response #1
Nothing will happen, however I want it bad. Really bad.
Arbiter response #1:
I am available for thoughtful, non-judgmental arbitration, but only on permission of everyone involved. If Cynthia refuses to accept me, I will leave.
Reading partner response #1:
Hi, I am interested in the position, enjoy reading aloud and have some theatrical experience many moons ago. I was in The American Dream and The Threepenny Opera.
The Stats:
Over 150 responses in 48 hours
Winning posts: 23 responses to Organic Reading Partner and 24 to De-seeder Needed.
Additional posts (not featured): Weeknight companion for pay ‹¨« Human Alarm Clock ‹¨« Personal Crossing Guard ‹¨« Facial Training Lesson (teach me how to smile!)
