Chris Amos: Wharton Inspiration makes female population wonder if making love too many times with someone's eyes has ophthalmologic side affects.
Danny Aranda: You might remember him as the brooding boy who walked around looking cool in his thick glasses. Only he doesn't wear glasses anymore, since he realized he never actually needed them.
Titilola Bakare: You know her, you like her, and if you don't, she'll pan you when she's the next Oprah.
Phil Balderston: This "oily" all-star has been around the block and back. Get tested. Seriously.
Andrew Benton: This bass player may be a grumpy old man, but with a middle name like Hufflepuff, he's got to be a softie on the inside.
Ben Berman: Half-Jewish + half-Irish x fauxindie ‹¨« fauxhawk = hottest boy in the Armistead, and then some.
Jorge Beruff: This ridiculously tall rower looks pretty scary, but he's a self-proclaimed pussy.
Rishi Bhatt: Check IMDB for info on this academic genius/entrepreneur/child star/poet/self-made millionaire.
Ashley Birnbaum: A true sl-ore is hard to find. See also: Julie Ingalls, Stephanie Becker, Elana Cooper, Jenn Endzweig, Rebecca Glassman.
David Burrick: DP Executive Editor. We're still trying to figure out whether he looks more like Bert or Ernie.
Laura Cappelli: If medicine fails this bloomin' Dean's Scholar, she'll always have a job as Helen Hunt's look alike.
Janine Catalano: This Street ed and Writer's House groupie says she's from NYC, but she really lives in the Dirty Jerz.
Maggie Chang: This self-styled AXO is the hottest Asian out of Kansas. Easily.
Jack Cohen: Class President ... Ooops. At least he's still a resident of the grade's "Power Couple." Jackie Connor: Don't judge this ditzy brunette by her hordes of "friends." Rumor has it this Tri-Delta is a Mensa member.
Isabel Cowles: Y'know the friend on Cybill? She's this Tabard's mom. By the way, Godard called: he wants his affect back.
Jenny Craddock: This Europhile navigates the Penn scene like F. Magellan around the globe. Emphasis on the initial.
Kelly Cregg: Nota Bene -- Huey Lewis' real name is Hugh Anthony Cregg III.
Mike Dannenbaum: British Mike has been liberated from the whip and is now back on the market.
Yvonne Delbanco: She makes Chewdiasm look good.
Aditi Desai: This Indian from Kentucky follows up wine and cheese soirees with outings to Smoke's.
Dan DeSouza: He may seem shy, but get him drunk and this Brazilian Strictly Funker will hump anything in sight!
David Diesenhouse: He's a member of every club known to Penn. Plus, his red hair helps you spot him in a crowd.
Matt Dines: Ever been to Gia Pronto or the gym? Chances are you've spotted ‹¨«ber-metro Matt putting the "So?" in Theos, backwards.
Oliver Entine: The most popular guy on campus. Somehow.
Jimmy Fanelly: He's Mask and Wig's leading male cross-dresser. But we all know him best as Jim-MAY!
Rachel Fersh: When Fersh became UA Chair last year, we at Street called her a whore. Sorry!
Isaac Flanagan: This Owl party planner is old enough to be your father and short enough to be your son.
Nicholas Fritzhand: Zetes! Mask and Wig! Sphinx! BMOC! Yay!
Rafael Fuchs-Simon: Looks like a Club Kid. Acts like a Club Kid. Ebays like a soccer mom.
Dani Furmanski: This big daddy of the Latin scene prefers getting drunk to ... anything.
Pierre Gooding: Class president, whose campaign slogan might well be, "voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"
Trina Gordon: This future MILF is honing her skills in painting and social etiquette at Penn Finishing School.
Hayley Gross: The Long Island-bred Panhel pres is Penn's resident Jewish mother.
Susannah Grossman: This hipster peaced out on the 420 house to spend intimate moments alone with her cat.
Maryellen Guinan: It's too bad people missed this AXO's MCing at BMOC -- because they were in jail.
Pat Haddan: The ladies sweat the sweat suit.
Sheri Halpern: After long days of meeting-hopping, Sheri winds down by setting her hair on fire.
Maggie Hennefeld: Street editor and political re-activist, Mags spends most weekends up in the City, presumably thinking 'bout the government.
Jill Ivey: If you've ever read a Xanga blog, you KNOW who Jivey is.
Shannon Jensen: This UNI CCP CHAC BFS JWS ABCS DDD PennCORP DP columnist is the MVP of acronyms.
Ilana Jerud: So thin, she makes you want to vomit.
Gena Katz: This fiery Ego editor is more deserving of the name Hermes than the god.
Niva Kramek: This rugby-playing Israeli-army vet will crush any conservatives that dare to cross her path.
Phil Leff: What will Penn be without DJ Faggotron?
Jon Levin: Street's music editor and damnit, he likes to keep a low-profile.
Sara Levine: This F&D editor is the tiniest foodie you'll ever meet.
Vickie Lika: Best known at Smoke's as Lesko's little, this NYC-er left Nursing for the big bad world of banking.
Ethan Lipsitz: "The Coif" ups the hipster ante of OTB. (As if a cappella wasn't hip enough already!?)
Peter Long: This friendly Jackson Hole cowboy always makes the rest of us feel sober. God Bless America.
Patrick Maloney: Of Road Rules fame.
Sam Mathews: The only player with more jerseys sold in Philly is McNabb.
Paul Mattus: Penn's record holder for most reckless drinker, lowest GPA and greatest athletic recruiting disappointment.
Bryan McClelland: I kayaked to Connecticut and all I got were these confusing skirt pants.
Alpha Mengistu: This Tridelt prez has quite the little black book. If you're a male at Penn, you're probably in it.
Kelly Mitchell: An anarchist with a love of expensive denim, nobody evades the narcs like Kelly.
Kat Morse: This iconic Newport native was the inspiration for Girl, Interrupted.
Eric Osmundson: Captain of the b-ball team, Oz is known for his ability to nail the trey. Can't make a layup, though. Go figure.
Jon Passaro: A certifiable brainiac, Jon manages to make the 50-year-old-man-look fashionable.
Louisa Roeder: Tabard Brit who parties too hardy. For fuck's sake, it's 80 degrees, you don't need a scarf. Are you hiding a growth?
Zack Rosenblum: UA Vice Chair -- otherwise known as Rachel Fersh's right-hand bitch.
Emily Rothschild: This down-to-earth semi-Tri Delt is the light of the Loft and high society.
Caroline Rothstein: Head of Exelano, 'Line may be the only legit person on this list.
Annunziata Sahid: Nunz combines WASPy and raspy in one loud Theta package. Did she mention that she's dating Brooks?
Dafna Salomon: All-seeing and all-knowing, the only thing she doesn't know is just how JAPpy she is.Jeff Sandman: This new bachelor digs brewing beer and the smooth sounds of the Counting Crows.
Kaelsie Saravia: Knows more about music and life than your whole family, combined.
Spencer Scharff: This big-ass Phoenix native heads IFC.
Spencer Schrage: This SAMmy nice guy's wardrobe costs more than Penn's endowment.
Bibi Schweitzer: Queen of Wharton Women and SDT, her JAP quota is lower than most, since she's only half.
Beth Shapiro: This SDT prez survived the torrents of Katrina. She's a lush, too.
Yona Silverman: Street's snarky EIC may only be remembered for "Which Ivy League are you?"
Sara Sjolund: She's everywhere and nowhere at once.
Michelle Sloane: This Judo-Chine Street artiste turns more than a few gentlemen's heads.
Lily Snyder: Cigarette company CEO's nightmare = the day this NYC-born, Israel-bred Theta quits.
Jenna Statfeld: President of Hillel AND in SDT. What are the odds?
BJ Stein: Class VP proves daily that 37-year-old Jewish men really do have more fun.
Moses Sternstein: This Jewish "intellectual" has a Pennchant for politics. Woody Allen marathon Saturday?
Agnes Terry: This Southern-born unaffiliate affiliates with sorority girls, fratty boyz and beer.
Ben Tolson: Does this bow tie make me look like a slut? Maybe it's just the 400 females who've undone this Phidelt's belt buckle in his tenure at Smoke's.
Stephanie Tsang: Without her aestheticism, you wouldn't even open Street. Plus she's a vixen.
Jarrett Wetherell: Such a swell percussionist, his side projects are better than the rest of your bands combined.
Arty Woodbury: Arty the One-Man Party is everyone's favorite Mormon Francophile.
