Bavarian Oktoberfest
Cannstatter Volkfest Verein
913 Academy Road
Fri, 7 p.m., $7-$8
www.gtvalmrausch.org
Lederhosen. Is there not a more amazing outfit in this world than lederhosen? Why wear jeans and a T-shirt when you can sport a matching vest and shorts, a hat with a pouffy feather and knee socks? And don't forget the suspenders -- those really make the ensemble pop. I sense you're not with me on this one -- can't figure out why. But you'd really be missing out on the wonder that is Oktoberfest if you didn't look like the Von Trapp family.
Family Workshop: Festivals of India
Penn Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology
3260 South Street
Sat, 10 a.m. - 12 p.m., $10
(215) 898-4016
www.museum.upenn.edu
You think you're so cool, walking around with whatever wristband is au courant this week? Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're actually about 2,000 years behind the times. In India, brothers and sisters have been exchanging colorful bracelets, called rakhi, for centuries. You too can make your own version of these bracelets, which symbolize bonds of love and affection, at the Penn Museum's celebration of this traditional Indian festival. Guess Lance Armstrong wasn't really that innovative. His heart was in the right place, but creativity, well, it just wasn't there.
Lithuanian Festival
Lithuanian Music Hall Association
2715 E. Allegheny Ave.
Sat, 12 p.m. - 8 p.m.,
Sun, 12 p.m. - 6 p.m., free
(215) 739-4831
Let's say that, like me, you are actually part Lithuanian but you know NOTHING about Lithuanian culture. What are you to do? Here's your solution: you go to the Lithuanian Festival! While there, you can eat authentic Lithuanian food, thus answering the question of what do people eat in Lithuania. Then you can try to blend into the crowd as people dance to Lithuanian music. Good luck with that. You can also get balloon animals, but I don't think those are native to Lithuania. Final question: are you Lithuanian?
Sail The Trail
Schuylkill River Park
Spruce Street at the Schuylkill River
Sun, 1 p.m., free
(484) 674-4778
www.sailthetrail.org
The Schuylkill is a scenic place to take a walk. The houses on Boathouse Row are nothing but gorgeous. But what better reason to take a 2.5 mile walk down the Schuylkill (if not for exercise) than for Sail the Trail? The walk benefits Crossing the Finish Line, a non-profit organization that gives away vacations to adult cancer patients. So come by and Sail the Trail; you'll be glad that you did.
Lincoln: The
Constitution and
the Civil War
National Constitution Center
525 Arch Street
Thu-Fri, 9:30 a.m. - 5 p.m., $9
(215) 409-6600
www.constitutioncenter.org
You can make fun of most presidents -- Garfield for his name, Taft for his size, even Johnson, if you're really immature. But Lincoln is above that, with the stovepipe hat and being six-foot-four and all. (There must be some cosmic rule that jokes about Lincoln must be bad. Or that was just a bad joke. I prefer the former). If you'd rather learn about Lincoln than joke about him (I'm in the first camp), then go see this exhibit.
Charles Livingston, Going Through the Motions: Drawings and Installations
Peng Gallery
35 S. 3rd St.
Fri-Sat, 12 p.m.-6 p.m., through Nov. 19, free
(215) 629-5889
www.penggallery.com
The Peng Gallery was established in 1998, and is known for its "thoughtful and challenging" pieces of art. Charles Livingston's "Going Through the Motions" is no exception; a strangely beautiful mix of sketches and conveyor-belt-like installations is aptly described as cutting-edge. So head over to the gallery and take a look; whether or not you love Livingston's pieces, it's sure to make you think.
Musicians from
Marlboro
Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts
260 S. Broad St.
Thu, 8 p.m., $22
(215) 893-1999
www.philadelphiachambermusic.org
This ain't no disco; this ain't no country club, either. These are musicians from Marlboro. Founded in 1951, Marlboro is considered by many to be the leading center for advanced music study by professional musicians. And their well-respected touring company has been around since 1963, so what you're seeing is the best of the best (of the best). And they're not just good musicians, they're playing great classical music from Beethoven to Dvorak. So head down to the Kimmel Center and have some fun. I've got a feeling you won't be the only one.
Lichens with Soft
Circle & Grizzly Bear
The First Unitarian Church
2125 Chestnut Street
Thu, 8 p.m., $10
1-866-468-7619
www.r5productions.com
Go and discover different sounds, full of independent ideas. R5 Production ensures you a marvelous night with Lichens, who accent the vocal drones with acoustic and electric guitars and percussion. Soft Circle, with their unlikely musical features like "hallowed jams," "throat singing" and the dreamy band Grizzly Bear, await you as well to discover their fabulous music.
Shout Out Louds
Theatre of Living Arts
334 South Street
Thu, 9 p.m., $12
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
In the mood for a vaguely Swedish-themed night of fun? Look no further than these easy instructions. Step One: Take a trip to Ikea. Step Two: Pig out on Swedish Fish candy and Swedish meatballs. Step Three: Go see the Shout Out Louds in concert. The first two steps are optional, but if you'd like to experience the post-ABBA, post-Ace of Base generation of Swedish pop, the third step is a must.
Remote Islands &
Get Hustle
The Khyber
56 S. 2nd St.
Fri, 9 p.m., $8, 21+
(215) 238-5888
www.thekhyber.com
Remote Islands rock group is releasing an album. Having formed in the summer of 2004, I'd say they're moving pretty fast. They're such a no-frills group that their web page consists of one single blurry photo of what may be a boy singing into a microphone -- although that is debatable. So go for the music and you'll leave with the satisfaction of getting exactly what you came for.
La Guitara
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut Street
Sat, 7 p.m., $28
(215) 222-1400
www.worldcafelive.com
Patty Larkin, Kaki King, Muriel Anderson and Mimi Fox -- four beautiful and talented women guitarists come to Philly to present an unforgettable performance and to reveal the truth behind the preconceptions about gender and guitar heroes, and show that today women successfully contribute to the evolution of modern guitar. Let them convince you this Saturday at World Cafe Live.
Queens of World
Music
Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts
S. Broad and Spruce streets
Sun, 7 p.m., $10-$56
(215) 731-3333
www.kimmelcenter.org
Eva Ayllon gives her own spin to Afro-Peruvian music. Who knew it had become so commonplace already? Blending music from Jamaica, The Dominican Republic, Cuba and Puerto Rico, Queens of World Music will take you around the globe without ever leaving the comfort of your comfy xenophobic U.S. home. Forget the Fodor's and remember to pack light, because on this vacation you'll be able to hear the world without having to stay overnight.
Mask & Wig presents ... Hogan's Gyros
The Iron Gate Theatre
37th and Chestnut streets
Thu-Sat, 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., $10
(215) 922-1011
www.maskandwig.com
Boys will be boys, or so the saying goes. But, there's a long tradition -- think as far back as Robin Hood: Men in Tights -- of boys being something other than boys. Well, Mask & Wig has proudly been giving boys the freedom to be girls for over 100 years, and they've kind of perfected that art by this point. So if you're really into musical comedy, gender experimentation, hot boys or gyros without all of the calories of tsatsiki, well, then, what are you waiting for?
Tuesdays with Morrie
Merriam Theater
250 S. Broad St.
Thu, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 p.m., Sun, 6:30 p.m., $20-$64.50
(215) 732-5446
www.broadwayacrossamerica.com
You remember Tuesdays with Morrie; it's that book that your mom begged you to read, which you actually liked. Now being performed on stage, the novel is based on the true story of a dying professor and the lessons he taught his former student. So if you were one of those kids who was too lazy to read the book, or if you just enjoyed it, bring a box of Kleenex to the theater to see what everyone's been talking about and let out a good cry.
Tony n' Tina's Wedding Dinner Theatre
Venice Plaza
18th and Snyder streets
Fri, 7:30 p.m., Sat, 8:30 p.m., Sun, 3 p.m., $59-$75
1-800-660-TINA
www.tonylovestina.com/city_philadelphia.html
Being the daughter of an Italian-Catholic and a Russian-Jew has allowed me a vast array of celebration extravaganzas. But for those less privileged who have yet to experience an Italian wedding, Tony and Tina are here to bring a taste of what you've been missing. The meatballs, chianti, and parmesan will all be in attendance. The only thing they can't promise is my aunt Patsy's lasagna. Man is it good.
The Turn of the Screw
Walnut Street Theatre
825 Walnut Street
Fri & Sat, 8 p.m., $15-$25
(215) 704-0033
www.lunatheater.org
Just because Halloween's over doesn't mean you have to return to your normal, hum-drum life. Why do your homework when it would be so much more titillating to allow yourself one final scare? If psychological thrillers are your passion and Henry James your Hitchcock of choice, be sure to check out this adaptation of The Turn of Screw. The play recalibrates the classic tale of a governess who finds herself face-to-face with the supernatural. Is the house really haunted or is it just her imagination run amuck? Mental breakdown -- it's like being up all night before an exam, only worse.
The Diary of Anne Frank
Post Hall, St. Joseph's University
56th St. and Overbrook Ave.
Sat, 8 p.m., $5-$12
(610) 660-1181
www.sju.edu
Another tale of a war-torn country that doesn't blame the US! Sweet. Everyone knows the story of Anne Frank, but you've never seen it like this ... preformed by St. Joe's students! Yes, that's right, you have to venture all the way to the wild and crazy world of St. Joe's to see this play. So don't forget your mugger money, because you're bound to get robbed walking those 20 blocks.
Always: The Love Story of Irving Berlin
Prince Music Theater
1412 Chestnut Street
Sun, 3 p.m., $32-$40
(215) 569-9700
www.princemusictheater.org
Prolific doesn't even begin to describe Irving Berlin's career as a composer. He penned over 3,000 songs and Broadway tunes in his lifetime, most notably "God Bless America," "White Christmas," and "Puttin' on the Ritz." Making a musical out of his life was sort of a no-brainer. The show focuses on Berlin's relationship with his wife Ellin Mackay, a sought-after heiress and the Paris Hilton of her day. The renowned K.T. Sullivan and Mark Nadler star.
The Feast of the Flying Cow and Other Stories of War
Interact Theatre Company at the Adrienne
2030 Sansom Street
Tue-Thu, 7 p.m., $22, Fri-Sat, 8 p.m., Sun, 2 p.m., $25
through Nov. 21
(215) 568-8077
What young child didn't grow up with the story of the Feast of the Flying Cow? The classic tale of a couple in a war-torn country chosen to receive a great fest from United Kingdoms foreign aid. Sounds uplifting. I'm just thrilled that there's a story about a war-torn country that isn't blaming the United States or George Bush for all of its problems ... I mean, come on, cut the guy a break.
In Search of the
Perfect Penis
Shubin Theater
407 Bainbridge Street
Wed-Sat, 8 p.m., Sun, 3 p.m., through Dec. 11,
$25-$30
(215) 336-1482
Holy crap this is a play about my life. Do you have any idea how many penises (or penii? I'm not sure) you have to go through before you find a keeper? You find one, and then all you can do is hope and pray that your perfect penis isn't attached to a real dick. But now all those lonely desperate nights are behind me because there are others to share in my pain, and there's finally an artistic outlet for all of my sexual frustrations. Praise the Lord and the search for the perfect penis.
Cheaters
Merriam Theater
250 S. Broad St.
Tue, 8 p.m., through Nov. 13, $34.50 - $43.50
(215) 732-1366
Here's a topic all college students can relate to -- cheating. Just kidding, President Gutmann! Cheaters is about more than writing answers on your arm, looking over someone's shoulder, and putting a mirror under the brim of your hat. It's about the moral implications of not following the honor code and the question of what is right and wrong. (If you're reading this, I don't think we can sit together anymore in class. They're on to us. You know who you are).
