This summer I've been working at a certain ubiquitous coffee chain. I never thought it would come to this, but because the universe turned a blind eye to my ideal summer plans, I have found myself dropped in the world of lattes and crumb cake. I try to make the best of my job, but honestly, it's just not interesting or stimulating to me. I'd rather be on the other side of the counter, as the customer, instead of the one taking orders and making drinks.
I don't drink coffee. I never liked it, so it's hard for me to understand why people must be so meticulous ordering their drinks. "Decaf vanilla latte with nonfat milk, four pumps of vanilla, three Splendas, extra foam, extra hot." "Small mocha with an extra pump of mocha, no whip cream, extra shot of espresso, heated to 150 degrees." Yes, one man comes in every day and actually specifies the temperature of his drink. I guess it would kill him to let us make his drink the way we make everyone else's.
Customers should at least be polite when ordering these complicated drinks -- if they expect good service, that is. The other day my co-worker told me she repaid two customers' rudeness by doing the unthinkable in the barista world: using whole milk instead of the nonfat they had ordered, and raw sugar instead of their low-calorie substitute. I still haven't figured out if I'm more impressed by or ashamed of what she did, but I suppose it was a pretty effective passive-aggressive way to express her anger.
My favorite customers are those who come in and order straight coffee -- no espresso craziness, no hazardous steamed milk, no sugar absurdities -- just plain, good ol' coffee. Unfortunately, there aren't enough of these customers. When they do come in, however, I'm ready for 'em. All I have to do is grab the cup, pull the lever down on the dispenser, slip the lid on, and they're good to go. A stress-free coffee experience, for consumer and barista alike.
Perhaps the sensation of working behind the counter isn't such a bad thing to experience, and at least I am making some money. After this summer, though, I'll be happy to return to my role as a consumer. When I order my favorite non-coffee drink -- hot chocolate -- during Philly's long winter, I know I'll be smiling at the person behind the counter.
