There's something about lemonade that feels nostalgic. Maybe it reminds you of the stand you used to have, or your grandparents, or something equally untainted. Now that lemonade has entered the 21st century, things aren't so simple or uncorrupted, and the lemonade industry is just as greedy and commoditized as investment banking or any equivalent.
We at Food and Drink claim to be lemonade (and its sexy adult cousin iced tea) purists as much as the next person, so we set out to see how well unsuspecting "connoisseurs" really know their summer refreshments. The monumental taste test spanned 14 varieties of beverages divided into three categories: straight lemonade, raspberry iced tea and half and half (our Home Brew -- designed meticulously from Wawa Lemonade and Lemon Iced Tea -- won unchallenged). The participants judged each category according to four criteria: cheapest-tasting, most expensive-tasting, worst-tasting and MVP.
Testers' verdict: despite claiming refined palettes, they snubbed more expensive hipster brands in favor of those of the 95 cents Wawa variety and such classy CVS offerings as Tradewinds and Rosenberger's. Editors' verdict: Nantucket Nectars is overhyped, and our Home Brew kicks ass. Is nothing sacred?
Snapple Globally the most popular brand, Snapple proved completely unimpressive, and surprisingly made it onto only two MVP lists. Still, the testers proceeded to drink it off the record, proving that the weird community vibe created by Snapple (orchestrated by the "real facts" [what are they really?] under every cap and its scarily welcoming website) has infected buying preferences, making it irresistible to the brand-happy consumer. Snapple is not only a corporation, it's a way of life, which makes it OK that its lemonade is completely sub-par.
Wawa After Wawa entered the mix, all the other competitors went crying waa, waa, waa all the way home. Who ever said that rags to riches died with Benjamin Franklin? We didn't. Often mistakenly deemed "most expensive" (believe it or not, these conmen are only 95 cents!), and making four triumphant appearances on the MVP list, the saccharine wonders that are WAWA lemonade and raspberry iced tea killed the competition, accomplishing the greatest upset since. Proving once and for all that Wawa is the campus' most underrated food source and grates socail equalizer.
Arizona Our contestants are regionalists. Nantucket, now Arizona. Yet, they gagged and retched when the sweet droplets of Arizona Raspberry Iced Tea touched their lips. We editors watched aghast. Maybe they favor bottled beverages over canned, or maybe they just can't get over the fact that Arizona may not be "made from the best stuff on Earth." But at 99 cents a pop (and often a participant in a two for one sale at CVS), Arizona Raspberry beats Snapple in our minds any day.
Nantucket In a shocking upset, the chic Nectars, hailing all the way from the shores 'o WASP, were judged -- almost categorically -- worst lemonade. Even more surprisingly, their Half and Half was really "the pits," as one participant remarked. Only one subject, who boasted several times about her expensive tastes, nominated Nantucket lemonade as her MVP. An embarrassment for the Nectar family. It's not too often that the most expensive and "friendliest" couple is ousted by Wawa trash. The Nectars, they're "juice" guys, they say. But when you're half and half, it's just harder.
