Andrew's Video Vault
The Rotunda
4012 Walnut Street
Thu, 8 p.m., free
(215) 573-3234
Every second Thursday at the Rotunda, Andrew's Video Vault serves up free screenings for your enjoyment. This week, the theme seems to be mildly unnerving, socially awkward tales of sexuality gone awry. First is Apt Pupil which describes the remarkably unexpected friendship between a high school boy and a Nazi War Criminal. Followed immediately by Child Bride which, as the title suggests, serves as a warning against the consequences of child marriage in Appalachia.
Film Series: Asian Americans and Popular Cinema
Asian Arts Initiative
1315 Cherry Street Ste 2
Thu, 7 p.m., free
(215) 557-0455
www.asianartsinitiative.org/
Asian Americans make great movies: The Joy Luck Club, Mulan, Shanghai Knights, Newsies -- I could go on forever. Turns out the Asian Arts Initiative can go on forever about Asians Americans and Popular Cinema as well. Gedde Watanabe, best known for his critical role in Sixteen Candles as Long Duk Dong, will be the master of ceremonies. The Donger will also be lecturing on how his roles in the film industry have shattered the negative stereotypes associated with na?ve Asian immigrants.
Goldstone Forum featuring Thomas Schelling
17 Logan Hall
249 South 36th St.
Thu, 4 p.m. - 6 p.m., free
(215) 573-2672
This lecture, entitled "Rational Choice and Some of its Alternatives" promises to be exciting. Schelling is being shipped up here all the way from the University of Maryland, so it must be worth going to if our hoity toity University decided to sponsor it. I will be making a rational choice to attend, you should too unless you are irrational.
Die Fledermaus
Temple University
Broad and Montgomery Streets
Fri, 7:30 p.m., Sun, 3 p.m., $20
www.temple.edu
You know what? I'm sick and tired of you Penn kids with your drinking and your rock and roll! Just once, why don't you try experiencing some culture? What could be more interesting than Temple's production of the famous Viennese opera, Die Fledermaus, this time with a '20s twist? Oh...right...Fling. Well, for those of you not drinking till you puke.
Philadelphia Furniture and Furnishings Show
Pennsylvania Convention Center
1101 Arch Street
Fri, 11 a.m. - 9 p.m., Sat, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m., Sun, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m., free
(215) 418-4700
I have two words for you. Fuck Ikea. That's right, I said it. You call yourself a furniture connoisseur? No? Ok, well that's good because that would be sort of pathetic. But anyway, if you're really looking to get wood, check out the Philadelphia Furniture and Furnishings Show. Just for fun, you can drag along your gay friend and pretend you're on an episode of Queer Eye.
Recent Tragic Events
525 S. 4th Street, Suite 479
Fri-Sat, 8 p.m., Sun, 2 p.m., Tue, 8 p.m., $10-$30
(215) 592-9560
www.1812productions.org
Well, I never thought the words comedy and 9/11 would be in the same sentence, but I've been proven wrong once again, this time by 1812 productions. This
comedy, created by a writer for the HBO series Six Feet Under, is about surviving the tragedy of 9/11. The show could potentially be therapeutic, as laughter is always the best medicine. And lastly, 1812 is set to receive a citation from the City of Philadelphia for its commitment to the community.
Contemporary Eye Artists Studio Open House Tour
James A. Michener Art Museum
138 S. Pine St.
Sat, 10 a.m.- 4 p.m., $4
(215) 340-9800
Magic Eye -- now that was art. At least when you don't understand what the hell you are looking at you don't have to lie, or write a six page paper in which you blatantly talk out of your ass which results in your T.A. asking if English is your native language (hypothetically of course). Luckily the James A. Michener Art Museum offers a guided tour of their latest exhibit, Contemporary Eye. So leave the talking out one's ass up to them.
Red Cross Walk
Fairmont Park in front of Memorial Hall
4140 Parkside Ave.
Sat, 9:15 a.m., free
(215) 405-8888
www.redcrosswalk.org
There's nothing particularly funny about the Red Cross. I mean, they do a lot of good in the world and in the process make me feel generally shitty about myself, but hey -- I'm not bitter. Join thousands of activists in raising money on this 12K Walk. The Red Cross promises family friendly-activities, accommodations for your
dog, and best of all, food! If it's the food that'll make you come out and support the cause, then you could probably use the exercise anyway. So get off your fat ass and head over to the biggest park in America.
Voices of the Spoken Word
Du Bois College House
3900 Walnut Street
Sat, 3 p.m. - 5 p.m., free
roberson@pobox.upenn.edu
In celebration of national poetry month, Penn's African American Resource Center and a a few other Penn organizations present a variety of Pennsylvania poets. The event also features Doris Washington, author of "A Blessing, Sharing & Caring." Sounds hot!
Northwest Philadelphia Earth Day Celebration
Wissahickon Charter School
4700 Wissahickon Ave.
Sun, 1 p.m. - 5 p.m., free
www.mtairygreening.net
You don't have to be a dendrophiliac to love trees, in fact, you can simply be an environmentalist -- whatever the hell that means. In honor of Earth Day, the Mount Airy Greening Network (you know you check their website, like, all the time) is hosting an event filled with booths, and the chance to recycle and freecycle! Before you wet yourself with joy, there's more: bring in all your old shit and trade it for someone else's old shit in what the Network calls a Free-For-All. Bring your kids, pets, and old newspapers for some fun and crap-trading. But please, leave the Styrofoam at home.
Candyland
Tragos
38 S. 19th St.
Sun, 10 p.m., $5
(215) 636-9901
Tragos has created the coolest event ever: classic board games meet alcohol and music. For the past 10 years you've been waiting to get back on that Candyland game board, and here's your chance to do so while still seeming adult and cool. The new rule about displaying maturity is that if you can drink while doing it, than you don't have to be embarrassed. So check out the Jolly Rancher drink specials and the Connect Four and Twister game tables, and relive your childhood while getting wasted at the same time.
Senior Ties
Saint Joseph University
McShain Hall, 5th floor
5600 City Ave.
Mon-Fri, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m., free
(610) 660-1840
Fourteen St. Joe's seniors present their artwork in this year end gallery exhibition. Students hail from a variety of diverse backgrounds, locations,
and the exhibit is multi-media (photography, painting, drawing, film and more.) Penn students watch your back, these up and coming artists are stealing the spotlight.
Sting Like a Maccabee: The Golden Age of the American Jewish Boxer
National Museum of American Jewish History
55 N. Fifth St.
Mon-Thu, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m., Fri, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m., $4
(215) 923-3811
White men can't jump. And Jewish guys can't fight. These are just some of the expectations society has and needs in order to continue functioning properly. But be prepared for a whirlwind of confusion, unexpectedness, and revolution as you discover that maybe, just maybe, those "expectations" may not actually be entirely true. Besides, I've seen white men jump plenty -- haven't you ever been to a Limp Bizkit concert?
Will We nEver Forget: Baseball in Philadelphia, 1876-2004
Atwater Kent Musuem
15 S. 7th St.
Wed-Sun, 1 p.m.-5p.m., $5
(215) 685-4830
www.philadelphiahistory.org
Ladies and Gentlemen, Spring is here and baseball is back. For those of you not glued to Sports Center here is the news: the New York Yankees have already slaughtered the Boston Red Sox, the Dodgers beat the Diamondbacks, and the Philadelphia Phillies still suck. The Atwater Kent Museum in Old City latest exhibit is for all the avid Phillie fans interested in the history of our shitty team. Cooperstown has got nothing on Philly.
Guitarmy
Grape Street Pub
4100 Main Street
Thu, 9:30 p.m., $4
(215) 483-7084
Some people just have a knack for coming up with catchy names for things. And everyone loves a real zinger of a name. Guitarmy really works. Are they a band? Are they warriors? It's not quite clear, and they truly blur the line. Find out for yourself at another endearingly, appealingly, and appropriately named Grape Street Pub located in the less adorably but more historically designated Manayunk, PA.
Lee Ann Womak
Keswick Theatre
Easton Road at Keswick Avenue, Glenside
Thu, 8 p.m., $39-$44
215 572 7650
Yee-haw, bringing a little of the South up to Philadelphia this week is what our woman Womak intends to do. Penn's campus is scattered with die-hard cowboys as well as preppy kids from Southern California who pretend that counts as the South, so this one's for you. You could be one of the first to hear Lee Ann's newest single "He Oughta Know by Now" which was just released on Monday, so giddy-up to Ticketmaster and polish your dancing boots.
The Shabbatones: Challah Back
Marbar
40th and Walnut Streets
Thu, 9 p.m., $6-$7
http://dolphin.upenn.edu/~vaad/shabbatones/
What does Penn have too much of you ask? Jewish people -- check! A capella groups --check! How about a Jewish a capella group? Well, there is only one Jewish a capella group on campus, but one is enough. In all seriousness, Challah Back, the Shabbatones spring show, should be rather entertaining. Like all the other a capella groups on campus these singers are mighty talented, and they have be-bopped, ski-umphed, tish-toshed, and yada-yada night after night in preparation for this Thursday's show. So if you have nothing to do this Thursday night (seeing as to how there really aren't enough social functions this weekend) and seven dollars to spend go to Marbar before your weekly passing out at Blarney.
Badal Roy
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut Street
Fri, 11 p.m., $17
(215) 222-1400
This is a rags to riches story that would surely bring a tear to your eye and a $17 dollar bill to your hand. Don't front like you have seen so many jazz concerts in your life. Because you probably haven't. Plus this guy has dreadlocks and really cool looking drums. I'd go just for the aesthetics. But that's just me.
Moby
Electric Factory
421 N. 7 St.
Fri, 8:30 p.m., $25
(215) 627-1332
www.electricfactory.com
Remember Moby? Apparently at age 40 the vegan, yoga-enthusiast DJ is still making music. Head on over to the Electric Factory to check him out and relive memories of the '90s when his music was everywhere. His music sounds even better on grass. Grass is what people called marijuana when Moby was our age. Crazy hippies.
Lenny Kravitz
Electric Factory
421 N. 7 St.
Sat, 8 p.m., $45
(215) 627-1332
www.electricfactory.com
"All of my life, where have you been? I wonder if I'll ever see you again. And if that day comes I know we could win. I wonder if I'll ever see you again." Ahhh... the soulful lyrics of Lenny Kravitz's soft-porn music video reminds us once again that Black Jewish singer songwriters are the best -- even without dreds.
Melt Banana
Vox Populi
1315 Cherry Street
Sat, 8 p.m., $12
(215) 568-5513
We are Japanese if you please. We are Japanese if you don't please. Really Asian, really screeching, really tiny band from across the Pacific. If you have a free iTunes bottle cap, download a song and remember Melt Banana is not hyphenated, cause they don't have hyphens in Japan.
Mickey Roker Quartet
Ortlieb's Jazz Haus
847 N. 3rd St.
Sat, 8:45 p.m.-1:30 a.m., $8
(215) 922-1035
Dude, don't think because this is jazz that you can just blow this off. This is Mickey Roker for goodness sake. You should be begging to hit that shit. Break out the beret and sunglasses and maybe even buy some drum sticks. At least pretend you are cool for two seconds and jam with the "heavy cats."
Nelly
Liacouras Center
1776 N. Broad Street
Sat, 8 p.m., $39.50-$49.50
(215) 204-2400
Shake ya tail feathers over to Broad street and see Nelly since its getting so hot herre in Philadelphia. Nelly may be slowly being replaced through the come back of Vanilla Ice, in his new, hard rock style, but at least Nelly has won three Grammy's. Save your money, skip Sonic Youth, and go get Nelly with it!
Philadelphia Classical Symphony: A Brass Bonanza
Philadelphia Cathedral
38th and Chestnut
Sat, 12 p.m.- 3 p.m., $10
(610) 664-8481
The word bonanza is fucking awesome. Even more awesome is an actual bonanza, hosted right near campus by musical director Karl Middleman. If you want an alternative to Sonic Youth and whoever else is coming to fling, check this out. Its especially great for anyone with family in town (as Penn Previews continue drag on), and there will be an arts and crafts festival for kids.
Ulrich Schnauss
Trocodero
1003 Arch Street
Sat, 7 p.m., $12
(215) 922-5483
Yup, he's German. And no, he won't be wearing lederhosen. Ulrich Schnauss is a synthesizing genius, and if you're able to tolerate this electronic and computer generated form of music, then good for you. Computers can do amazing things like facilitate a social life, store expansive amounts of porn, and now do away with the need for those antiquated instruments known as "guitar" and "drum." Crazy Germans, go drink some more beer.
Hamlet
The Philadelphia Shakespeare Festival
2111 Sansom Street
Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 8 p.m., Sun, 2 p.m., $20-$33
(215) 496-9722
www.phillyshaekspeare.org
Why not see this classic, directed by Carmen Khan. The story is captivating and if its quotes are timeless. Besides, if its good you win and its bad, at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that you are a true Shakespearian connoisseur. We all know that you are so amazing and what better way is there to announce it than wearing your Penn sweatshirt to the performance.
Saturday Night Match Times
Adrienne Theatre -- Playground
2030 Sansom Street
Sat, 7:30 p.m., $12-$15
(215) 592-9560
The Madhouse Theatre Company's self-proclaimed mission is "to challenge the present by producing plays that stimulate the mind and stir the range of human emotions." On Saturday, come and witness this mission in motion, as the Company puts on their collaboration of comedy skits. They are all local actors who have written these pieces themselves, and it promises to be a rip-roaring good time. Go, laugh, wet yourself.
Zap Mama
Theatre of the Living Arts
334 South Street
Thu, 9 p.m., $20-$22
(215) 922-1011
You know those flyers people hand out on Locust Walk that you throw away before reading? Well a lot of them are for a cappella performance groups. Zap Mama is a professional a cappella group, the people all those tool boxes dream of being when they grow up. If you like staring egomaniacs check out their show.
