This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
Tired of heading south of the border to search Rosita's cheap yet sanitarily questionable Mexican goods? Well, fellow enthusiast, exhaust thyself and thy penicillin supply no more. Located just a hop, skip and a jump away from campus, Fanny's Fish Tacos helps bring the donkey show right to Philadelphia - and not a bit too prematurely.
If you're looking for hip, clean decor, then you may want to bypass Fanny's Tacos. The interior is dark and unnecessarily humid, reminiscent of Grandma's old cellar in southern Florida. And let's face it: no one likes going down in Grandma's cellar. While the restaurant lacks tables and chairs, there's still not a lot of breathing room, forcing costumers to simply go in, out, and back in again for seconds (and believe us, you'll want seconds. And thirds. And tenths).
Oh, but madre de Dios, the taco! Take one glance at the fragrant, dripping folds and you'll forget that you--and half of Philadelphia--are packed into Fanny tighter than a can of sweaty sardines. Go with our suggestion and opt for the ahi taco, as the halibut has a tendency to run a bit too pungent. The tuna, often served raw, perfectly compliments Fanny's ripe, moist tomatoes and chunky, dribbling salsa. Head cook Clytemnestra Von Douche (Clittie to her 50 closest friends) makes a bold decision in bypassing hard shells, instead selecting only the finest hand tossed, fluffy tortillas. Although shocking at first, Clittie's experimentation proves to be pleasurable for even the most conservative of taco connoisseurs. Stiff shells, Von Douche explains, make it difficult to reach the taco's succulent tuna filling, as they provide only an axe-wound sized slit in what should preferably be a very open-faced dish. We couldn't agree more.
Looking to get liquored up before wrapping your mouth around a juicy fish taco? Although famous for servicing Three Wise Men and Surfers on Acid (both of which are lusciously large shooters), Fanny's most widely known for epic amounts of Sex on the Beach. A vibrant intercourse of some stiff Jose with only the sweetest of Mother Nature's nectars, enjoying some Sex on the Beach proves to be the only natural progression after sinking one's teeth into Fanny's delectable tuna taco.
So slap on that sombrero and get ready to moan Ole! as you indulge in Philly's cheapest senorita. Without doubt, munching Fanny's fish taco is quickly becoming the city's favorite evening pastime, for individuals and groups alike.
