This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue.
Alright, you spend a lot of time with yourself. Chafing aside, a little self-love never hurt anyone, but when it comes down to it, meal time just isn't satisfying if you're all by your lonesome self. You could stay in and attempt to eat whatever you can make yourself. But then, that could be gross, pathetic, and/or just plain stupid, considering the multitunious eat-out options waiting with open arms. So unless you're particularly handy, we suggest blowing off that DIY habit and venturing out of doors, or closets, or whatever, to get your next meal. When you're shoving your face with something warm and inviting, you'll thank us for giving you that bump in the right direction. So spread those wings and get excited for a finger-lickin' good time.
