If you're craving charbroiled veal chops, risotto with morels and taleggio, a steaming pot of mussels cooked in white wine with garlic and celery or even old-fashioned, homemade tubes of manicotti overstuffed with fresh ricotta cheese and smothered with sweet, heirloom tomato sauce, then do not go to Tacconelli's.
But if you are craving the best, darkest, most garlicky pizza in the Mid-Atlantic region, do drive -- or find a stranger who has a car so that he can drive you -- to the Port Richmond section of Philadelphia. Tacconelli's only sells pizza, and the pies are so coveted that customers have to call around 11:30 a.m. on the day they plan to eat in or take out to reserve their dough. One mound of dough equals one perfect pie with about eight large slices, so a group of three normal people, for example, should call to reserve approximately five doughs. Your order does not require that you specify what you'd like on your pizza -- you'll have the rest of the day to think about that. Or we can just tell you what to get: a white pie (no tomato sauce, just mozzarella cheese) with spinach, tomatoes and garlic. There are red pies and white pies for about $12 each -- both ways make for beautiful, rustic roundels that reek with garlic powder. The malty crust is thin but not dainty, and snaps in your hand, leaving your fingertips and empty beer bottle labels dusty with flour and ash from the frighteningly hot brick oven. The pizza, like an ideal companion, cooks fast and then shuts the hell up. For a real treat ask for hot peppers on the side. They'll come in a tiny translucent cup with a lid and will blow your mind with their silkiness and death-inducing heat. The pies at Tacconelli's do not pretend to be the kind you'll discover in Italy on vacation, nor do they involve exotic ingredients and cheeses from animals other than cows. Tacconelli's pizza is simply consistently heartbreakingly delicious. Go there and enjoy.
The ambiance is just how I like my pizza parlors: '50s style, lined with booths and Tiffany lamps, home to bathrooms for "Guys" and "Dolls," a jukebox and a BYO mandate. Be sure to come equipped with a cooler filled with beer -- and maybe streamers and confetti -- celebrate your finding Tacconelli's.
