Deep C
Tragos
38 S. 19th St.
Sat, 10 p.m., Free
(215) 636-9901
This new Spanish-themed toro club is guaranteed to make you feel like you're in Spain. It is equipped with flamenco dancers and regularly serves tapas until 2 a.m. But the real kicker comes with the olive shaped bar stools, which, after any of Tragos's 40 kinds of tequila, may actually make you believe that you have been whisked away across the Atlantic.
Sado-Judaism
Shubin Theatre
407 Bainbridge St.
Thu, 8 p.m.; Fri & Sat, 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun, 4 p.m.; $10
(215) 592-0119
www.thinkbeforeyoulaugh.com
If you're feeling guilty about that lobster you had last week (at least it wasn't breaded), let Ivor Dembina take you off the hook. This Jewish standup comedian from the UK devotes his hour-long show to his favorite activity: being beaten by prostitutes. I don't know what the Talmud says about this, but it can't be good.
Pilobolus Dance Theatre
Zellerbach Theater
3680 Walnut St.
Thu 7:30 p.m., Fri 8 p.m., Sat. 2 p.m. & 8 p.m.; $31 - $39
(215) 898-3900
www.pennpresents.org
This small but influential dance troupe began in a Dartmouth dance class in 1971. Their founding mission was to remain on the cutting edge, to shatter old rules and to innovate. Since then, they have succeeded in carrying out their plan. Although the roster has changed many times over the decades, the group has consistently created more waves in the modern dance world than most companies many times its size. It's truly an inspirational story, the kind that makes you think that all of this is worth enduring. I'm weeping as I type this.
Philadelphia Furniture and Furnishings Show
Pennsylvania Convention Center
12th and Arch streets, Hall D
Fri 11 a.m. - 9 p.m., Sat 11 a.m. - 7 p.m., Sun 11 a.m. - 5 p.m.; Free
(215) 440-0718
www.pffshow.com
Ironic that a city with so many homeless people would ever hold an exhibit showcasing housewares. Anywhos. Throw out that KOOOLN Ikea Chair and buy a snazzy $150 coffee table that cost about $10 to make. So much to do, so little to spend. It reminds me of a time when I went to the Pottery Barn and didn't buy anything because of that angry lady with the red beehive wig. It will be a fun time. Take your mom along for a little bonding.
Seinfeld Trivia Night
The Khyber
56 S. Second St.
Mon, 8 p.m., $5, 21+
(215) 238-5888
www.thekhyber.com
"But I don't wanna be a pirate!" "Right, Koko! That chimp's alright!" "Mail on Sunday?" "There was no motion." Can you name the episode and year of each of these quotes? Don't fool yourself ... that's nothing. My friend Jase in Your Face will be showing off his shit at The Khyber's Seinfeld Trivia Night and this man is a force to be reckoned with, the king of the king of all sitcoms. So just because you know the ins and outs of the Merv Griffin Show and Pez dispensers, don't think you've got it made. No matter how big of a geek your friends think you are, my friend Jase has spent more time than you perusing the Internet for Seinfeld trivia ... not that there's anything wrong with that.
Bonsai: The Art of Growing Miniature Potted Trees
Morris Arboretum of the University of Pennsylvania
Chestnut Hill
Tue, 7 p.m. - 9:30 p.m., $89 members, $102 nonmembers
(215) 247-5777 ext. 125
www.business-services.upenn.edu/arboretum/japanesecherry2.html
Not seeing enough green in the big city? Learn how to grow bonsai, miniature potted trees, in your own home. Literally "tray gardening," bonsai came to Japan via China over 2,000 years ago. By pruning carefully and frequently, you can grow a miniature tree that looks as gnarled and hardy as an ancient one in the wild. The first of two Tuesday-night sessions, the class is designed for beginners. This is one of many Japanese cherry blossom festival events at the Arboretum, continuing through the end of the month.
M.F.A. Thesis Exhibition-at Temple Gallery
Temple Gallery
45 N. Second St.
Through April, Wed - Thu & Sat, 11 a.m .- 6 p.m., Fri 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.; Free
(215) 925-7379
We know where we get our weed. We know how we like to smoke it. In a bowl? No. In a blunt? Perhaps. But how does everyone like to take their herbs over at Temple? I have no idea. In fact, I know very little about Temple, in general. I only know where it is because I just typed in the address at the top of this listing. Other than that, I know one fat girl who goes there and I think one of my friends' dads is an alumnus. If you're like me, you're wishing that you knew more about our neighbor school. What better way to find out about a culture than its art? Look and learn.
The politics of injury
Painted Bride Art Center
230 Vine St.
Through April 24, 10 a.m., Free
(215) 925-9914
www.paintedbride.org
It is not an easy task to poke fun at people whose last action is one of desperation and tragedy, but I don't have to. Ms. Simonutti has spared me this insensitivity by photographically cataloging her exploits pillaging these people's homes just hours after whatever fateful events occured to them. OK, that's not true, but the exhibit probably has the most artistic merit of any of those that grace these hallowed pages, as Ms. Simonutti illustrates the humanity of the memory left behind by these, um, tragic people.
The Uneasy Chair
Adrienne Theatre - Mainstage
2030 Sansom St.
Through April 25; Tue, Thu - Sat, 8 p.m.; Wed, 6:30 p.m.; Sun, 2 p.m.; $10-$25
(215) 568-8077
This play by Evan Smith, an underappreciated gay writer, portrays the dynamic between two individuals who, at first, seem to be unlikely friends. Still, as the work progresses, we begin to see more clearly the basis for their unique bond. The story tracks the development of the characters' relationship from stiff and business-oriented up until the two are roommates in a nursing home. All the while, Smith looks closely at American romantic values. His sharp social insight and gift for entertaining storytelling combine, as the work both pulls at our heart strings and at the corners of our mouths.
Wynton Marsalis
McCarter Theater Center for the Performing Arts
91 University Pl.
Princeton, NJ 08540
Thu, 8 p.m., $40 - $58
(609) 258-2787
www.wyntonmarsalis.net
Touring North America after a brief hiatus, Wynton Marsalis is back with some old cronies: Wess Anderson (sax), Ali Jackson (drums), Carlos Henriquez (bass) and Eric Lewis (piano). Even though all of these musicians are legendary veterans, the man people really want to see is Wynton himself. I bet he could perform with a group of cross-eyed eight-year-olds and still draw a decent crowd. Sure, he catches heat from time to time for his conservative views on jazz and pop music, with statements like "a record isn't a record if it doesn't have any mistakes." For all of his shit-talking, however, the public has recognized Marsalis as a gifted visionary, time and time again. Over the course of his career, he's pulled down nine Grammy awards and, in 1997, he became the first jazz composer to win a Pulitzer Prize. That's gotta count for something.
Of Montreal with National Eye/ Elevator Parade
Northstar Bar
2639 Poplar St.
Thu, 9 p.m., $10
(215) 684-0808
www.northstarbar.com
This band is called Of Montreal, and yet they're from Athens, Georgia. Not only this, but the music they play is clearly influenced by the Beatles, who were British. Given their catchy Elephant 6-tastic aesthetic, however, one can forgive their awful geography. Singer-songwriter Kevin Barnes is the mastermind of this little group, but their bassist also plays in another '60s pop-styled group, Elf Power. They're supporting their newest album, Satanic Panic in the Attic. The only problem is that seeing this show will make you wish you were alive during a time when rock music on the radio didn't make you want to hang yourself from an electric fence.
Pinback/ The American Analog Set
Theater of the Living Arts
334 South St.
Thu, 8 p.m., $12
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
As different as bands like Pinback, Modest Mouse and Fugazi all sound, there always seems to be some musical moron who uses the word '"emo" to describe all of them. Of course, none of these bands actually play anything resembling emo music (read: they do not sound like Dashboard Confessional). Pinback takes a Northwestern angular guitar rock aesthetic and combines it with clever studio sampling and mixing to create an incredibly unique sound that has brought them to such prominence on their Absolutely Kosher label. Furthermore, they are an amazing live band, as they play for about two hours and know how to crank up the volume on their instruments and vocals. You haven't heard them unless you've heard them live.
Fuel
Electric Factory
421 N. Seventh St.
Sat, 9:30 p.m., $17.50 - 20
(215) 569-9400
www.electricfactory.com
Fuel plays a wicked brand of a little genre known as suck-rock. My sister bought their CD back in high school, around the same time Limp Bizkit, Incubus and Sublime (yeah, I don't like Sublime ... and I don't like you) were all getting repeated play in her Discman. Her taste has since improved vastly, but the idea of that CD ever being heard by anyone makes me want me to strangle puppies. Even worse about Fuel is that they now have a big single called "Falls on Me," which is not to be confused with the vastly superior R.E.M. song "Fall on Me." If you get off on this kind of suck-rock, and you think everything else is awful, just shoot yourself in the face.
Average White Band
Keswick Theatre
Easton Road and Keswick Avenue
Glenside, PA 19038
Fri & Sat, 8 p.m., $33.50
(215) 572-7650
www.averagewhiteband.com
As disco waxed in national popularity, Average White Band's fame, which came so fast and furiously, began to slow to a mellow trot. Although they experienced a second chance at stardom when TLC and Puff Daddy sampled their biggest hits, the group has remained predominately in our collective consciousness as a relic of a bygone and erroneous era in music history. Nowadays, their accessible funk grooves are seldom heard outside of bar mitzvah parties. But the band is still at. Since regrouping in 1989, they have been performing live (on subway platforms) and recording new studio albums (in the guitarist's dining room). By all accounts, it seems that the Average White Band is on its way to reclaiming the number one spot on the charts. Nobody can deny their excellence. Nobody.
Stereolab/Mice Parade
Trocadero Ballroom
1003 Arch St.
Mon, 7 p.m., $18
(215) 922-6888
www.thetroc.com
Stereolab is one of the '90s' greatest indie acts, combining the Krautwerk aesthetic of groups like Neu! and Faust with catchy and accessible lounge pop. Immediately procure Emperor Tomato Ketchup if you have not had the good fortune to cross paths with them as of yet. Despite being based in London, the band is made up of French and English people, which is the best explanation of why their songs freely switch between the two languages. Tragically, vocalist Mary Hansen was killed last year when she was hit by a truck biking through London. Nevertheless, the group has forged on and is now supporting their surprisingly solid 2004 LP, Margerine Eclipse. If you don't like this band, you probably sold your soul for a pack of Slim-Jims and some Bubble Tape.
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