Children's Japanese Storytelling and Activities
Morris Arboretum of the University of Pennsylvania
Chestnut Hill
Thu, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m., $6, $5 students
(215) 247-5777
www.business-services.upenn.edu/arboretum/japanesecherry2.html
Remember in elementary school art class when you made paper boats? Or those cool paper frogs that jumped when you flicked their backs? Or those paper balloons that you could blow into? You don't remember? Then make yourself a newspaper hat and go sit in the corner, mister.
Eden Everlasting: A Glass Flower Show
National Liberty Museum
321 Chestnut St.
Mon. - Sat., 10 a.m.; $5, $3 students
(215) 925-2800
www.libertymuseum.org
Do you ever feel like your room is missing something, but you don't quite know what? I know ... glass flowers! Who needs the real thing when you can get glass sculptures that are just as nice and not as hard to maintain. To pick up one of these critical necessities, just head over to the temporary exhibit at the National Liberty Museum, which is showing in correspondence with the Philadelphia Flower Show.
Hopping Fences: Influences in Modern Living
Philadelphia Art Alliance
251 S. 18th St.
Tue - Sun, 11 a.m., free
(215) 545-4302
www.philartalliance.org
I don't know much about modern living ... but I do know there's some guy on thefacebook.com who seems to be interested in "post-modern dance." Personally, I have no clue what that means but it seems pretty badass. What is postmodern dance and how can I learn to do it? Does it simply mean flailing wildly and randomly, or is it a serious art -- a science, even? Maybe these are secrets too guarded to know, but one day, we will all be enlightened.
Universoul Circus
Vacant Lot
Thu & Fri, 10:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. $10
(800) 316-7439
www.universoulcircus.com
Forget Barnum and Bailey. Who cares about Ringling Brothers? Coming to nearby Camden is a circus with some real flair. The first African-American owned circus features multi-ethnic performers and creates acts with Caribbean, African and South American artistic influences. The emmy-nominated circus has toured internationally and has been featured in publications from The Source to New York Magazine. From its inception in the early nineties, Universoul has grown throughout the years and is a unique experience that goes past the usual peanuts and clowns.
R is for Rosenbach
Rosenbach Museum and Library
2010 Delancy Place
Tues, 10 a.m., Free with $5 admission ($3 students)
(215) 732-1600
www.rosenbachmuseum.com
This informative exhibit breaks down the complicated nature of objects into simple ABCs. Taking the six degrees of separation approach, the show links over 100 rare objects based on their name. For example, this edgy exhibit goes so far as to link a 20th century autographed baseball to an 18th century musket ball -- crazy huh?
Tooth and Claw
Arden Theatre
40 N. Second St.
Through Sun; Thu - Fri 8 p.m.; Sat 2 p.m. & 8 p.m., Sun 2 p.m.; $22-$40
(215) 922-8900
www.ardentheatre.org
Page 176 of my statistics textbook describes a surprising study that was done in 1992. Researchers surveyed a representative sample of biology teachers in Texas. As it turns out, approximately 40 percent of those polled reported believing in creationism. This confirms my existing opinion that Texas should be expelled from the Union. In no other place on earth would pollsters find such horrifying results. Except with the notable exception of Oklahoma. Or Kansas. Come to think of it, this country is ridden with backward thinking, cow-fucking imbeciles. They're all fired. California and New York will comprise the new and improved United States, for, in these states, Darwinism is accepted as a non-negotiable fact. A similar train of thought serves as the basis of this righteous play. Vote Kerry!
Air
Electric Factory
421 N. Seventh St.
Sat, 8:30 p.m., $25 - 28
(215) 569-9400
www.electricfactory.com
Another reason why I should have gone to Wesleyan: within the vibrant and creative, close-knit student community, people tell each other about new music that they've discovered or old music that they've rescued from obscurity. They even share their MP3s on their very own file-sharing server. Anyway, on my last visit to the school, (I make frequent trips because half of my graduating class went there), I got into a conversation with just the sort of stylish, brilliant and articulate kid that Penn lacks. And he told me about Air. He described how the French duo's wafting, ethereal melodies are far more palatable than most European digi-pop. And now I'm telling you. On a related note: Jon Coplon's extraordinarily handsome.
@Guides Headline 2004:Jedi Mind Tricks/Chief Kamachi/7L & Esoteric/Outerspace
@:The Trocadero
1003 Arch St.
Sat, 8 p.m., $13
(215) 922-6888
www.thetroc.com
Few hip hop acts remain in the game for more than a couple years. Yet all of the performers scheduled to appear at this concert have been on the grind for at least a decade. Most have them, however, should have thrown in the towel a long time ago, most notably 7L & Esoteric, whose early '90s, indie schtick has grown a little tiresome. The real enigma of this bunch is Chief Kamachi, a Philly native, who, after about 20 years of recording, is just now coming into his own. Poised to release his debut full length this summer, the long time collabo- kid deserves any praise that comes his way. And he's just beginning to get some; early reviews of his forthcoming album have been very positive. Go see what all the hype is about. You won't be disappointed.
@Guides Headline 2004:Danielson/Espers/Architecture in Helsinki/Born Heller
@:The Khyber
56 S. Second St.
Sat, 9 p.m., $8
(215) 238-5888
www.thekhyber.com
Certain albums are just meant to be played when you're stuck inside on a rainy afternoon. Espers' self-titled 2004 release definitely is one of them. This Philly based psychedelic group is just starting to get national attention, thanks to their lush arrangements and flat-out beautiful sound. While their sound is not extremely varied, with music so gorgeous, the group can be cut some slack on their debut. It is recommended that you load yourself full of shrooms and go see them along with their backup dancing elves.
@Guides Headline 2004:The Unicorns/Chromeo/Arcade Fire/The Ponys
@:First Unitarian Church
2125 Chestnut St.
Sun, 7:30 p.m., $8
(267) 972-6264
www.r5productions.com
Sure, we just ran a Give Me 5 about this band a few months ago. Well, now they're back, so you can just read about them again and like it. Despite the fact the band failed to deliver on the peanut butter and jelly hype, the show was nevertheless hysterical - the band was dressed in white and pink and kept telling some obnoxious kid in the crowd that he had a small penis. More importantly, the music was awesome, and the band showed talent in their ability to mess around with the songs. Their live show has a lot more to offer than just playing the songs the same way they sound on the album. Hopefully this time they'll play "Child Star" - I want to hear their two vocalists singing how much they hate each other back and forth.
Cui Jian
Theatre of the Living Arts
334 South St.
Sun, 8 p.m., $35
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
Old Cui (Lao Cui), known as the Father of Chinese rock and roll, has been making intelligent pop music since 1985. His song "Nothing to My Name" became the anthem of the student protestors at Tiananmen Square. Ever since his first album "Rock 'N' Roll on the New Long March," Cui has been an inspiration to the post-Cultural Revolution generation. Often compared to the likes of Dylan and Springsteen, his appearance in Philly is truly a landmark event.
Twista
Theater of Living Arts
334 South St
Mon, 8 p.m., $22.50
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net (1993 Philly Magazine Winner for "Most original web address")
For a time, Twista was best known as the world's fastest rapper, a title bestowed upon him the Guinness Book of World Records in 1992. Now, he's mostly famous for being that "freak show" in the video for Kanye West's "Slow Jamz." The point is that this pudgy little guy "spits harder than when thunder hits" (what up 'Ceez!). But he can't possibly rap that fast in concert. Or can he?
@Guides Headline 2004:The Fall/The Broke Revue/Thieves
@:The First Unitarian Church
2125 Chestnut Street
Mon, 8 p.m., $12
(215) 563-3980
www.r5productions.com
R5 has scored a major coup, bringing Indie-rock legends The Fall to the Unitarian Church. Despite a number of lineup changes since the band first formed in the late '70s, vocalist Mark E. Smith has been at the epicenter of it all over the years, allowing them to release a chain of consistently solid post-punk albums. For the uninitiated, a great place to start is their 1985 landmark album, This Nation's Saving Grace. Their music is influenced by everything from Can to Joy Division to old blues tunes. Even though they're older now, they still can play their music machines better than most other bands around.
@Guides Headline 2004:Ben Kweller/Death Cab for Cutie/Billy Mason
@:Trocadero Ballroom
1003 Arch St.
Tue, 7 p.m., $11
(215) 922-6888
www.thetroc.com
Ben Gibbard had a huge 2003, with his very successful Postal Service Give Up side project, as well as his fourth album with Death Cab for Cutie, Transatlantacism. While the latter album was a bit of a letdown, it did at least show the band was capable of a more mature sound and is willing to use studio production to mess around with their tunes. Hopefully with their next album they'll know how to use it better. Regardless, the band has an extremely respectable back catalogue, and certainly will be playing some of thee tunes at the show. Just be willing to battle all the 15-year-old girls who will be elbowing their way to the front, trying to see Big Ben's face.
@Guides Headline 2004:Jagermeister Tour Featuring Slipknot
@:Electric Factory
421 N. 7th St.
Tue, 8:30 p.m., $28.50
(215) 569-9400
www.electricfactory.com
This tour has been referred to as a nu-metal romp you may not recall in the morning. Well, that about says it. If I were ever suckered into going to a nu-metal romp, or anything nu-metal, I would not want to remember it in the morning, as I probably would not be able to look myself in the face ever again. Now I know you Staind and Puddle of Mudd nu-metal fuckos are looking at this and getting angry. I don't care. Read another magazine, ass.
Sparta
North Star Bar
2639 Poplar St.
Tue, 7p.m., $10
(215) 684-0808
www.northstarbar.com
When a good band called At The Drive-In died, it split into a good band called The Mars Volta and a bad band called Sparta. This is the second of those two bands. Named after a city-state in ancient Greece, or more importantly the only town worth mentioning in Sussex County, New Jersey, this band is not from either of these places and probably has not been to them. This leads me to one question: Why am I even writing this?
@Guides Headline 2004:Blonde Redhead/The Secret Machines
@:Theatre of Living Arts
334 South St.
Wed, 8 p.m., $13-15
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
Blonde Redhead may be headlining this show, and while their crooning blatantly rips off Sonic Youth, their music really isn't anything to write home about. Instead, go to see the phenomenal openers, The Secret Machines. After just one album and an EP, it is clear they are going to be one of the bands that defines was this decade's indie rock is about. Their new album comes out in May, but can be streamed for free off their website. They combine a drugged out pop sound of the Flaming Lips with a guitar and keyboard attack reminiscent of bands like Built to Spill and Pink Floyd. See them now and be able to tell your friends you liked them before the they were huge. After all, that is how you get your kicks, sicko.
