Family Affair Fridays
Tragos
38 S. 19th St.
Fridays, 10 p.m.-2 a.m., Free
(215) 636-9901
Clubbing makes a great family outing. Throw on that disco dress -- you know it still fits -- strap the kids into their carseats and head out for a night of fun! While the young ones dance, you drink your husband under the table. Hope little Timmy remembers how to drive the minivan.
Fresh Saturdays
Lounge 125
125 S. 2nd St.
Saturdays, 9 p.m., $10
(215) 351-9026
www.lounge125.com
10 bucks will get you access to the open bar at this ultra-cool Saturday night hotspot, where alternating DJs spin baby-breath-fresh hip hop. But if you really want to experience the full freshness of Saturdays, you better become a VIP member, 'cause those are the only people fly enough to stay at the club until 3:30. It closes at 2 a.m. for regulars (also known as losers).
Fast, Cheap, & OutTA Control
Fluid
613 S. Fourth St.
Sundays, 10 p.m.-2 a.m., $5
(215) 629-3686
"Sanitary is second on Sunday at Fluid" is the tagline of this weekly gathering of the dirty and depraved. Everyone who's anyone gets their cheap thrills at Fluid on Sunday nights. Host Psydde Delicious encourages partygoers to come decked out in their most outrageous threads and dubs one lucky boy or girl "Slut of the Week." Glam rock and punk music bring out the inner whore of even the most conservative attendees. Just last week, J. Ro beat me out for "Slut of the Week." That bitch got the last pair of the water-filled heels that would have been my ticket to Slutterdom.
Heartswork
Space 1026
1026 Arch St., 2nd floor
Thu & Fri, 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., Free
(215) 574-7630
www.space1026.com
Heartswork explores the words of Rainer Maria Rilke, the soul-searching poet of turn-of-the-century Europe. The exhibit is housed in one of the city's most artist-friendly venues, a place where artists frequently visit and sometimes reside. Plus, they tend to throw ingenious parties. Look for a new show every month.
Contra Dancing
Memorial Hall
43rd & N. Concourse Dr.
Thursdays, 8 p.m., $6-7
(215) 685-0051
When the strange looking man with the red pants and no shirt approaches you in his tap dancing shoes, be sure to tell him UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, A, B, A, B, Select, Start. Of course, if you needed me to tell you that, you obviously did not grow up as a cool kid, you loser, you crazy tap dancing loser. Oh look, a flying S.
Secret Cinema: Vintage Hollywood, Live and Uncensored
Moore College of Art and Design
20th and Race streets
Fri, 8 p.m., $6
(215) 568-4515 ext. 4099
www.users.voicenet.com/~jschwart
The organizers of the "Live and Uncensored program" have combed their archives and found shards of Hollywood's not-so-glamorous past. What viewers will see is a film mosaic of politically incorrect clips from the first half of the twentieth century. For example, short films produced by major studios like Warner Brothers, which portray African Americans in a negative way like "Minstrel Days," which features white actors singing in blackface are showcased. This show presents a disquieting glimpse at the racist underbelly of early film culture.
East Coast Hobby Show
Fort Washington Expo Center
1100 Virginia Dr.
Fort Washington, PA 19034
Sat & Sun, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m., $9
(800) 252-4757
www.hobbyshow.com
This weekend, the Fort Washington Expo Center, the largest convention facility on the East Coast, will open its doors to more than 20,000 hobbyists. You name it stamp collectors, whittlers, comic book fanatics they'll all be there to meet and greet other people who share their unique obsessions. The scene will be horrific, no doubt. Especially for those unfortunate souls who suffer from dorkiachia, a rare and debilitating disorder which causes people to be intensely fearful of nerds. If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with dorkiachia, we suggest evacuating the area. Please do so now.
Bible Study: Discovering God as Eros
Christian Association
37th and Sansom streets
Tues, 12 p.m., free, lunch provided
(215) 746-6350
dolphin.upenn.edu/~upennca
I know we've all fantasized about Jesus a few times. I mean the long luxurious hippie locks and being the son of God doesn't hurt either. You don't have to push through the weekend madness at University Wine and Spirits if your man can turn wine into water. Just past the Brita, baby! You can discuss those special feelings for God with the Christian Association in their current bible series, "God as Eros." Over lunch you can discuss your ideas about the Lord and sex. My question is, what's up with a man who was being followed around by bunch of "devoted" men and performed miracles? Does no one else see the parallels between Jesus & Co and Queer Eye's Fab 5? I'm just sayin'...
Rooney
Theater of the Living Arts
334 South St.
Thurs, 9 p.m., $14-16
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
Prepubescent girls may compromise most of their audience, but, with shaggy hair as hot as this, even you cannot resist Rooney. If you're hungry for tunes that are catchy and sunny, don't miss this show. Right out of high school, Rooney caught a buzz that never quit. This fab five is so hot that once they reel you in, they will melt your heart mmmmm-tasty!
Lou Rawls
Zanzibar Blue
200 S. Broad St.
Thu & Fri, 8 p.m. and 10 p.m., Free
(215) 732-5200
www.zanzibarblue.com
A brief look at Rawls' resume: over 60 albums, three Grammy awards (13 nominations), one platinum album, five gold albums and one gold single. He's even opened for the Beatles. Clearly, the man has been around for a very long time. Over the course of his career, his work has helped to define and expand soul music. In fact, some critics point to Rawls as a father of hip hop, because of the monologues to music he did in the 1960s. So giddy-up new jacks, and school yourselves on an important ancestor.
Broken Social Scene/ Stars
Theater of Living Arts
334 South St.
Fri, 9 p.m., $15
(215) 922-1011
www.theateroflivingarts.net
Check out the feature in the Music section if you want to know more about Broken Social Scene it's the hotness, which I can say most impartially, even though I wrote it. Now, I'm going to use this space to talk about the delicious opening act/BSS-side project Stars. Both groups share Evan Cranley. Stars retains the pop sensibility of BSS but replaces the guitar driven Dinosaur Jr. sound with a more soulful sophisticated pop that calls to mind everything from The Smiths to Marvin Gaye. Their 2003 album, Heart, surely was one of the better offerings of the year, so make sure to show up in time to catch these guys at the TLA.
The Constantines/Pretty Girls Make Graves
The Balcony at the Troc
1003 Arch St.
Fri, 7 p.m., $11
(215) 922-LIVE
www.thetroc.com
This is an interesting mix: The Constantines play angular post-punk that is dripping with Fugazi influence, while Pretty Girls Make Graves play post-punk that is more pointed in the way of louder emo. Both groups are solid and have created loyal fanbases, although neither has released anything that might be labeled as essential. Check out this show if you're tired of suppressing that middle class rage that has been building up and finally reached its boiling point. Woowoo! Let's fight! And then cry about our girlfriends who left us for some dudes on the football team.
Animal Collective/White Magic
Vox Populi
1315 Cherry St., 4th floor
Sat, 8 p.m., $8
(215) 568-5513
www.r5productions.com
Animal Collective makes that crazy kind of music that creates cult fans, but definitely is not for everyone. One minute they're quiet, then all of a sudden they're all screaming, and frankly, when I listen to Here Comes the Indian, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Nevertheless, the tunes, if they can be called tunes, really grow on you after a few listens, and you just want more. Luckily, their new album, Tung Songs, has already leaked online, and proves to be a more acoustic affair. Go see them live; they sound like nothing you've ever heard before.
Grandaddy/Saves the Day
Electric Factory
421 N. 7th St.
Sat, 8:30 p.m., $25
(215) 569-9400
www.electricfactory.com
Granddaddy rocks some serious face. I remember just last summer when I saw 28 Days Later in theatres and I almost peed my pants in excitement when I heard "AM 180" come on during the RAGE survivors' raiding of non-perishable items in the abandoned grocery store. Christopher Conley, lead singer of Saves the Day, however, pooed his pants, because he often has bouts of diarrhea. Skip Saves the Day, but go see Grandaddy, because they don't stink.
Preston School of Industry/South Congress/The Perfectionists/The Sutras
The Khyber
56 S. Second St.
Sat, 9 p.m., $8
(215) 238-5888
www.thekhyber.com
Oh, Preston School of Industry, you came from such a momentous origin. You formed when the best American rock band of the 1990s, Pavement, broke up. Guitarist/songwriter Scott "Spiral Stairs" Kannberg immediately got you guys together, and you grabbed two others from the Moore Brothers. Kannberg found some old tunes that were not quite good enough for the final Pavement album, Terror Twilight, and turned those into your first album. Lo and behold, it sucked. In fact, everything you do sucks.
TV on the Radio/The Panthers/The Occasion/Hail Social
First Unitarian Church
2125 Chestnut St.
Sun, 7:30 p.m., $8
(215) 563-3980
www.r5productions.com
I'm not particularly enamored by TV or the radio, but I do enjoy TV on the Radio. Their soulfully delicious jazzy rock mixed with insightful lyrics is impossible to neglect. Plus, they do a sexcellent a-cappella cover of The Pixies' "Mr. Grieves." If you can cover a Pixies song without desecrating their honor, that's an automatic high five. Go give lead singer Tunde Adebimpe his warranted high five for being awesome. As for the other bands, I'm going to leave you with this unknowledgeable awkward silence and tippytoe away.
Nickel Creek/ The Thrills
Electric Factory
421 N. 7th St.
Sun, 8 p.m., $20-23
(215) 569-9400
www.electricfactory.com
Surprisingly, Nickel Creek is semi-decent. Although primarily a country/folk band, they compose catchy, bittersweet melodies that don't totally isolate rock fans. It also helps that they don't sing about divorce or the War for Southern Independence. Few musical narratives from inanimate objects are as woeful as that of the infamous "Lighthouse's Tale." That legend of lost love never fails to give me a good case of the sniffles.
David Bowie/The Polyphonic Spree
Wachovia Center
3601 S. Broad St.
Mon, 7:30 p.m., $42.50-$78
(215) 336-3600
www.comcast-spectacor.com
Everyone knows David Bowie and his shape-shifting ways. People always talk about how each of his albums are so different. Why? Because it's true. If you have been living under some kind of a rock and have no idea who Bowie is, get yourself Ziggy Stardust immediately, and then from there you can move onto his Berlin trilogy. As to the opening band ... if you look up overrated novelty act in the dictionary, you will find a picture of this band. While on stage, they all wear robes. Why? Those are all the clothes they can afford.
Bob Dylan
Electric Factory
421 N. 7th St.
Tue, 8 p.m., $49.75
(215) 569-9400
www.electricfactory.com
With all the precedents he set, Dylan is to folk-rock as Bozo is to clown television. Instead of giving five dollars for throwing the ball in the bucket, Dylan shares with you his priceless wit, social knowledge and musical talent. If you don't like Dylan, whether because you think his voice is too nasal or his music too plain, you're wrong. I bet you like the Wallflowers, though. Maybe a little 311? Also, when you have sex with a girl, you probably refer to it as "tagging" her. Toolbox.
Sleepy Jackson/Earliment
North Star Bar
2639 Poplar St.
Tue, 8:00 p.m., $10 in advance, $12 day of show
(215) 684-0808
www.northstarbar.com
Magnet Magazine ranked this the number four album of 2003. They compared it to Badly Drawn Boy, Grandaddy, the Velvet Underground and even the Beatles. While there may be an influence from some of these groups, guess what? This album is one of the blandest collections of meh indie-rock one could ever expect to hear. Without a single standout track, one wonders what the Magnet reviewers were thinking. They also put Death Cab for Cutie's awful Transatlantacism at number 15 on the list, while completely ignoring the vastly superior Give Up by the Postal Service. I don't trust Magnet, and I don't like the Sleepy Jackson. Hoo-haw!
The Absynthe Drinkers
Fergie's Pub
1214 Sansom St.
Wed, 9 p.m., Free
(215) 928-8118
I am still trying to figure out if the two Finnish dwarves I hung out with last night were really there or if they were yet another wonderful affect of my absinthe use ... abuse ... same thing. I highly recommend taking a few shots of this green magic medicine before heading over to Fergie's Pub for this little rock show; the leprechauns will make it so worth the trip.
MTV2 Headbanger's Ball Tour
Electric Factory
421 N. Seventh St.
Wed, 7 p.m., $20
(215) 569-9400
www.electricfactory.com
Does headbanging destroy brain cells? With all that loud music and hopping up and down, your gray matter must be soup by now. I'm told headbanging is back: the Ball has returned both on the air and on tour. This time around, Hatebreed, Unearth, Drowning Pool and Damageplan are making their way up the coast. Take lots of aspirin, kids, and don't stay out too late.
