1. Every week your email folder is filled with at least 15 emails from Peggy Churchack at College Counseling. As you read the subject headings ("how to get teacher recommendations," "how to get into law-school," and "corporate casual? What is this fad and how do I get in on it?") you are:
A. Thrilled! You've been looking on-line for weeks for this infor mation! You're running down to Career Services asap to sign up!
B. Writing it into your planner right now. You may or may not attend.
C. Shouting "Die, Peggy, die" as you slam your fist through the monitor! Stop fucking clogging my emails! Stop harassing me with reminders of my responsibilities!
2. Your professor passes you in the hallway of Williams. Do you:
A. Engage him about last week's discussion on post-colonial thirteenth century Algerian lesbian poetry and then thank him for writing your law school recommendation.
B. Smile and say "hello" on your way out.
C. Duck into the nearest hallway as quickly as possible. You slept through class that morning and missed a presentation.
3. When you go to the ATM you:
A. Take out the prescribed amount that was budgeted that week.
B. Take out about $40, about right for a night downtown.
C. Played it like a slot machine. C'mon, give me $20, three cherries, c'mon!
4. You're walking down Locust Walk and a Penn a capella group is singing to you and they hand you a flyer. Your reaction is:
A. What are you doing, bro? I'm a member, silly goose.
B. Take the flyer. Sounds like just the kind of cultural activity you attend frequently as part of your acculturation process into the Ivy League.
C. Fuck, get out of my face. You, my singing friend, remind me of the fact that I have done nothing with my college career except for binge drink and smoke bong hits while watching TV. Sponge Bob Square Pants is your favorite class for fuck's sake.
5. When looking for that special other, you:
A. Ask him/her to submit a cover letter as well as resume and potential earnings for next year.
B. Get to know a group of friends and develop a crush on that person who gives off the best vibe
C. Look for someone who has sex appeal and is not a complete fuck-up (i.e. oxycotin addiction and/or D-Average).
Now add up your answers and check below to see what fate has in store for you!!!
Scoring Mostly a's: Your role model is Steve Perelmen and/or Anna Wintour.
Mostly b's: Your role model is your father and/or grandfather.
Mostly c's: Your role model is... Dude, who's that guy who created Maxim?
