Madonna in the world of children's literature is like a priest in a porn film: unexpected, awkward, and not particularly sexy. Yet the queen of self-promotion has indeed reinvented herself once again, this time as a serious author.
Yes, the woman who once writhed provocatively while singing "Erotic/ Erotic/ Put your hands all over my body" has penned a children's book, The English Roses. This literary effort from the Detroit-born anglophile is thankfully a far cry from her controversial 1992 photo essay, Sex.
Based on the main tenets of Kabbalah, which Madonna has studied for seven years, The English Roses aims to teach children basic moral lessons including "the importance of compassion and the rewards of friendship." According to the Material Mommy herself, "[the book] deals with envy and jealousy, and how these emotions cause so much unnecessary suffering in our lives."
While not in the same league as Roald Dahl or J.K. Rowling, Madonna writes with surprising originality. The tale is sweet and endearing, centering on four charismatic 11-year-old British girls -- the 'English Roses' of the title -- as they deal with their jealousy of a beautiful outsider named Binah, eventually accepting her and discovering her imperfections. The illustrations by fashion artist Jeffrey Fulvimari are colorful and appealing, inspired by the artwork of Andy Warhol and the designs of Anna Sui.
Billing herself as Madonna Ritchie, the pop icon has written four additional books, the next of which, entitled Mr. Peabody's Apples, will be released this November. Perhaps Madonna's days of crucifixes and pelvic thrusts are truly over. Evidence that she has abandoned her virgin/whore complex? The English Roses was co-edited by six-year-old daughter Lourdes , and launched at a children's tea party at which Madonna sported a frumpy floral dress no conical bra in sight.
If the idea of 'Mrs. Guy Ritchie, children's author' frightens you, don't fret: this new mature Madonna is still more MILF than soccer mom, as she proved beyond doubt by slipping Britney the tongue at the VMAs.
