After years of unsuccessfully chasing women, I can finally confess that nothing satisfies me more than a big hunk of meat in my mouth -- along with a one pound baked potato and anything else the Marmont Steakhouse and Bar wants to feed me. Billing itself as Old City's only steakhouse, Marmont is located at 2nd and Market, but pretends it is in the middle of SoHo. The d‚cor is done in warm tones and abundant curves. A chic and sexy atmosphere permeates the restaurant, making it a good place to take anyone you're trying to impress with your style. Just be careful they don't slip too far into the cushy seats, or you'll never see them again. For a restaurant trying to appeal to the yuppie crowd, the seats seem to be an odd accommodation to premature hemorrhoid suffers.
The steakhouse also makes an odd little salad that bears the restaurant's name. The Marmont salad ($8) -- a mix of apples, almonds, gruyere and greens -- is surprisingly tasty. Any pretense of healthy eating disappeared when my delicious 12 oz. steak ($20) arrived, accompanied by a huge baked potato. Unlike many restaurants, Marmont was not afraid to cook my steak bloody as hell when I requested. The massive baked potato is a mixed blessing. Much like an emotionally needy girlfriend, it demands all your time and energy but quickly gets cold and mealy, if ignored. The problem is one of scale -- if you put the potato aside to have a few bites of steak you have no chance of finishing the entire thing while it is still warm. Fortunately, the sauces that come with the entree (hollandaise, au poivre, creamy horseradish and port wine) do a good job of covering for the frigid starch. My only complaint with Marmont is that they don't have steak anywhere on the dessert menu. When I asked if the specialty cobbler had any steak the waitress only glared at me and said "it's peach cobbler" -- which didn't answer my question. However, I was willing to overlook her poor hearing and lack of a funnybone when she offered me a glass of wine with my coffee. Now that's service. Although it contained no steak, the chocolate marshmallow cheesecake ($6) still left me feeling gorged, if the massive potato didn't. For those with a hyperactive sweet tooth it will be delicious -- for everyone else it may be impossible to finish. So, next time you're feeling empty inside, go fall into the plush seats of Marmont and get a wildly satisfying hot beef injection.
