Rob Schneider, best known as the Rich-Meister and Deuce Bigelow, isn't what you would consider tall. In fact, at a smidgen over 5-foot-4, he arrived to the interview shod in Timbs, swimming in a pair of baggy jeans and a rooster-red fleece vest with giant suede pockets — hardly the typical attire for a guest at the Four Seasons. But however lacking in the fashion department, Schneider was not at a loss in the charm department, offering an endless supply of daunting metaphors in promotion of his new film, The Hot Chick.
Street: How do you feel about your new movie The Hot Chick? Do you think the public will like it?
Rob Schneider: Oh, absolutely. I think we did a really good job putting this film together. 'Cause for the audience, seeing a movie is so much more of a commitment than, say, watching a TV show. A TV show is more like popcorn, whereas a movie is more like a restaurant. 'Cause if you get bad popcorn, it's just bad. [But] it won't stop you from buying it again... same with a TV show. But with a movie, the audience is just expecting it to be entertaining, and if it's not, you know, they'll remember Rob Schneider — I'm not going to see his movies anymore.
Street: Okay, okay. And if you go to a bad restaurant, you're not liable to go back either?
Schneider: Exactly. Like I still remember this one Chinese restaurant I went to in L.A. when I was 10. It was awful! It gave me and my father horrible indigestion. Needless to say, we weren't gonna go back there. I'm thankful the audiences still come to see my movies after some of the crap I did earlier.
Street: Crap? I hope you're not talking about Home Alone 2.
Schneider: Oh no, nothing like that. I had a small part in the movie The Beverly Hillbillies.
Street: Yeah, that was pretty bad TV show.
Schneider: As a TV show it was bad, as a movie it stunk!
Street: But your new movie's nothing like that, right?
Schneider: No, no. My newest film is much better. It's definitely worth seeing. And I feel very lucky to get roles like this, 'cause I realized something I didn't know at the start of my career — you don't have to accept every single role that comes your way. And I feel I've reached the point in my career where I have the liberty to pick and choose my parts a little bit. But you know — by the same token — it's still a risky business. It's like being a baseball manager... If the team's winning, that's great. If not, either you move to the next town, or you're done; I mean, your career's over.
