Two men stand before a court bench, one in a Cardinals jersey, the other in an Eagles jacket. This odd father-son pair with dueling allegiances, originally planned to spend their Sunday pleasantly at an Eagles-Cardinals football game; instead they spent it locked up in a holding cell in the basement of Veterans' Stadium, before being shipped off in a paddy-wagon to a Municipal Court on 11th and Wharton streets. They were accused of disorderly conduct for picking a fight with other fans, an all-too-common crime at the soon-to-be-demolished Vet.
High above on his bench, Judge Louis Presenza, an older man with a gray beard and a narrow face, taps his bony fingers on the wood to an imaginary beat. He seems bored, weary even.
"Is this your first time at an Eagles game?" the judge asks.
"No," the father responds. "It is our first time in the 700 level."
The bored look on the judge's face is replaced with a sly half-smile. "The 700 level is notorious, gentlemen."
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Only Eagles fans rejoice when an opposing player -- Michael Irvin of the Dallas Cowboys, for example ----lies motionless on the turf. Only Eagles fans routinely relieve themselves in sinks, closets or just about anywhere to avoid long bathroom lines. Well, maybe fans in other cities do things like that. But only Eagles fans boo and throw snowballs at Santa Claus.
And that's why only Eagles fans are worthy of a court exclusively held in their honor. "Eagles court," as it is now known, was founded after a series of incidents at a Monday Night football game in 1997 against the San Francisco 49ers. In that nationally televised game, there were more than 60 fistfights in the stands, and someone even fired a flare gun.
Court was held inside Veterans' Stadium only for the last few games of that season. Contrary to a common myth, it was moved shortly after that to a Municipal Court in South Philly, where it has been ever since. Prior to the court's inception, those arrested at the game might have been able to weasel their way out of a penalty by simply ignoring subpoenas. Now there is no escape. The court was founded to deter criminal activity by creating a quick, band-aid solution, one that would avoid the long, arduous legal process.
Has it worked?
Well, Santa Claus hasn't recently been pelted with snow and ice, and the sight of a possibly-paralyzed player hasn't sent the Eagles' faithful into a state of jubilation. Yet.
But there is still a hell of a lot of peeing in sinks -- this season, seven public urination cases have been tried in five games. Perhaps some things will never change.
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With a shiny bald head, a broad build and two gold rings, Judge Seamus McCaffrey, who often rides the Philly streets on his Harley, looks pretty intimidating. But when he puts on his robe and climbs onto the bench, he looks something closer to omnipotent.
In actuality, he's one of the most affable guys you'll ever meet -- and he's pretty darn funny, too. McCaffrey -- spurred by the success of "Nuisance Night Court," a quick-fix solution to crime on the Philly streets -- founded "Eagles Court." The judge volunteers his services to the program, as do a variety of other judges, Presenza included. (As a member of the Air Force Reserves, McCaffrey often takes long leaves of absence). "He wanted to give something back to the city," says his assistant, Janet DiTomasso.
While McCaffrey, a big Philly sports fan in his own right, finds most defendants guilty, he's also fair and sometimes even sympathetic.
For example, some kid from Scranton took a bus to Philly a few years back to catch his first-ever NFL game. He must have been pretty excited, because he drank throughout the entire trip. Next thing he remembered, he was drunk and bloodied and in some holding cell away from Veterans' Stadium. His bus back to Scranton had already left by the time he was tried, and even though he supposedly got into a fight, McCaffrey found the kid not guilty and paid for his bus ticket home.
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It's opening day of the 2002 season, and that's bad news. The Cowboys are in town, and that's even worse. When an NFC East rival plays at the Vet, fights are almost sure to break out. Any fan who dares show his team's colors might very well leave in an ambulance; the offender, in a paddy-wagon.
A little bit after 4 p.m., the defendants start rolling in, being escorted, one by one, through a side door and into a narrow holding cell. Some are shirtless, others paint-smudged. All are shamed and subdued -- if they were once drunk, they are now most certainly sober. "Contrary to what people say, we don't try drunks," McCaffrey says, debunking another myth.
The judge takes a sneak peak at the "stats" for today's game. It's the usual -- three trespassers, two disorderly conductors, one public urinator. The only crimes that have ever been tried at "Eagles Court" are disorderly conduct, open containers, defiant trespassing, public urination and underage drinking -- the felonies go to a higher court.
The first thing McCaffrey looks at, however, is where each defendant is from. He squirms a little when he sees that one out of the six is from Philly. "Usually, there aren't any," he says.
That's not entirely true. Over the past six years, 227 (out of 249) people have been found guilty -- only 42 of those have been from Philadelphia. "We're getting the bad rap," McCaffrey says. "What we've found is that 95 percent of the people arrested are not from Philly. They're from Delaware County, South Jersey, Bucks County. They're Eagles fans, but they're not from Philly." McCaffrey, a Philly native, is quick to defend his city. He's trying to improve its image, and that means showing that most of the knuckleheads who get drunk and pick fights at Eagles games aren't even from Philly. It's a losing battle, but he's trying.
The highlight of the day comes when the public urinator pleads not guilty. His explanation? It wasn't really public urinating, because he did it in a utility closet. "Yeah, I urinate in my closet at home all the time," McCaffrey jokes. The verdict was guilty, of course.
Another defendant, a Cowboys fan who was accused of throwing a beer on someone, couldn't even plead his case. He was in the hospital for a "self-inflicted concrete wall injury." Another joke from the judge was brewing. "That's aggravated stupidity," he says. "But I guess if I just threw a $5.50 beer on someone, I'd want to bang my head against a wall."
"I couldn't even write a book about this," McCaffrey says. "People wouldn't believe the stories."
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It probably shouldn't be joked about -- but then again, it's hard not to. There are so many Eagles Court stories that each year's clowns seem to top those who came before. Some stories are so depressing, they're downright funny. Like the time Bird Man, a fan who dresses in an Eagles costume every week, was arrested for picking a fight with a guy just taking his kid to a game. Or the time a Giants fan was thrown down a steep flight of stairs.
DiTomasso and John Caparco, Presenza's assistant, are enjoying a laugh now, at one of their favorites, only moments before last Sunday's Eagles-Cardinals game. "Last year, there was some girl who performed sexual favors in the 700 level," Caparco says, giving the censored version. DiTomasso picks up where he left off. "And she was told, 'You can't perform oral sex on the football field while the game is going on.'"
"And then she mooned the police officer when she was told not to do it," Caparco adds.
"The best part," DiTomasso continues, "was that the guy came down to the court to pay the fine for her. Right there. In cash."
Today, there will be no such excitement. The Eagles won big, 38-14, against the Cardinals, a team devoid of tradition -- and of many fans. "They don't get as revved up with the Cardinals as they do with the Giants or Redskins," Presenza says.
There are seven cases. The first four plead guilty and are each slapped on the wrist with a $241 fine. The fifth pleads not guilty, which means there must be a mini-trial to render a verdict. Frank Lynch, the security guard who arrested the defendant, walks to the front of the courtroom, takes his oath and begins his testimony. (Beware, this is the uncensored version.) "Some patron was urinating in the sink, so I took him away to eject him from the stadium. This gentleman followed me out of the bathroom and walked alongside me. He then said, 'Fuck you, bitch. I'll be with your wife tonight.'"
The judge remains completely stoic. The defendant hangs his head a little. Lynch continues.
"I brought the other man downstairs to the holding cell, then when I came back from the elevator this man was waiting for me, literally right outside the elevator. He said, 'What's your wife doing tonight? I'll be fucking her and your 13-year old daughter.' I said, 'This is your last chance to move.' He then took a swing at me, there was a melee, and two Philadelphia cops came and took him away."
Only at the Vet.
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While "Eagles Court" has been highly successful since its inception, McCaffrey has often feuded with police over his "zero-tolerance" campaign. The police often instruct security guards to stop making arrests late in the game, which frustrates the judge. "If it were really making an impact, I'd say great. But then I hear about stuff like this," McCaffrey says, after the home opener, when security guards claimed that police told them to stop making arrests with six minutes left in the fourth quarter.
"We're here to do our job, they have to do theirs. With this program in place, why wouldn't they want to make it work? What happened to zero-tolerance? If these guys are fist-fighting, why aren't they being arrested?"
Inner squabbles aside, the program has been met with much proclaim -- and national attention. Inside Edition came two weeks ago to interview each defendant. A production company has expressed interest in turning it into a movie. Other football teams, including the Jets and Raiders, have thought about implementing their own court system, based on the success of "Eagles Court."
Who would have guessed? Other teams actually following the lead of Philadelphia, a city known for having the most raucous and surly fans in the country? But maybe this is a new trend. Maybe the rest of the country will start looking up to Philly and its fans, rather than down on them. Maybe Eagles fans will become -- gasp! -- well-behaved.
Imagine that for a second.
An obituary for the 700 lever By Paul Farber All good things must come to an end. But as for the Vet's much maligned 700 level- the cheap seats notorious for their drunken Eagles fans - I personally hope the spirit of the section will live on after the stadium is demolished and the team moves to its new home next season. Despite its rough portrayal in the media, the 700 level is a place where fans of all kinds come together as one cohesive unit. It's a family way up there: one with violent tendencies, but a family nonetheless. For me, the Eagles were an essential part of my childhood. Each Sunday, my dad and I, and my brother before he went to college, would make their games the center of our weekends. And at least once a year, we'd head to the Vet to partake in the melee ourselves. It was there that I first saw a bit of the real world, complete with its rough edges. It was not so much a loss of innocence, but rather an exposure to the beauty and brutality that lie at the extremes of dedication to football. This was the place where I learned my first swears. I vividly remember asking my dad where I could buy my own "Dallas Sucks" t-shirt. And this was the place where I learned about alcohol. I recall wondering why, by the third quarter, the nearby fans were increasingly rowdy and foulmouthed; I thought they were upset we were losing, but now I know they were just belligerently drunk. But the 700 level was also the place I learned about unity, zeal and how to stand up for something you believe in. Whenever the Eagles would score a touchdown, everyone would build sudden familial connections and want to slap hands with me - then a bright eyed, toothless eight-year-old - some of other fans were toothless themselves and somewhat soiled by the final whistle. The 700 level may be remembered for its raucous fans, its violence and its blatant disrespect for humanity. But for this die-hard Eagles fan, its mayhem is my sanctum and the place that helped teach me what faith and family is all about. Now let's drink to that.
Just doesn't seem right, does it?
