How did you meet?
Ben: We met at a winter retreat of Campus Crusade fellowship of Christian athletes. [Kris played football. Ben played baseball. And Joshua played...]
Badminton?
Joshua: I played badminton in Malaysia because it's the biggest sport there. But no one plays badminton here. It's a girly sport here.
Do you think badminton is a girly sport?
Kris: I don't know bro. I have never actually seen badminton in action.
Joshua: Only here is it a girly sport... [In Malaysia,] the highest you can go in the sporting level [is] either playing soccer or badminton. They're like football and basketball to us.
Who is the dominant roommate?
Kris: I don't think any of us is dominant.
Ben and Joshua (in unison): No.
Kris: I think we all have our own personalities that seem to fit together. It helps that we're all Christians. So we have this thing that overarches all the differences that we have because we all are very different and unique.
Joshua: Every Monday we pray together at 11 p.m.
Kris: Yeah. Don't read that [sign].
(The sign says, "Pray" with a list of "Words of the Day" also scribbled below.)
What are the definitions of some of these words?
Kris: We would come up with some random word that would not come up in conversation, and you had to use it some point during the day.
Ben: You had to slip it in so nobody else noticed it. But the words we picked were so stupid that they would notice it. [Words of the Day included: Blasians, see-doo, Budapest and Wafricans.]
Joshua: [Blasians and Wafricans] came from Risk, right?
Kris: We were playing Risk. I was playing with the little black figures.
Ben: Eli [Moyer, who lived in the room fall semester,] had the yellow.
Kris: So... This is not going to sound good... [With the black figures,] I occupied all of Asia so they were the Blasians. And the yellow guys were supposed to be the white guys, so they were the Wafricans because they occupied Africa.
Use one of the words in a sentence.
Kris: So, hey man, did you hear about those Blasians?
What's the word on the knife?
Ben: My brother was all into Navy Seals so he gave this to me. When I came back from Florida, I brought everything I had and now I can't fly back with it.
When Josh gets out of line, do you ever have to use the knife?
Ben: I used it to hammer some things into the wall. I didn't have a hammer.
Joshua: Are you guys roommates?
Yeah.
Joshua: Where do you live?
Hamilton Court.
Joshua: It can be kind of ghetto over there. Rats running in the hallway.
Our biggest problem right now is the vomit everywhere. All over the place.
Ben: I hate vomit.
Kris: I don't throw up... So I feel you, brother.
How was the adjustment from Malaysia?
Joshua: It's not difficult because Kuala Lumpur is a big city. Philly feels small to me. The biggest adjustment was that I couldn't understand jokes. Jokes are very different. American jokes are very slapstick, whereas the jokes I am used to are British humour. So it's based on context and wordplay.
Can you give us an example of a Malaysian joke?
(Josh proceeded to tell us a popular joke from Malaysia. Suffice to say, it involved the police, kittens, the Malaysian prime minister, the king and potatoes. I guess that the joke was pretty funny, but none of us knew the joke's political context. Apparently, the Malaysian king isn't too smart.)
Kris: I don't get it.
If you could characterize your room as a vegetable, what vegetable would it be?
Kris: I say a carrot because it is deeply... This is kind of corny.
That's another vegetable.
Kris: The carrot grows deep down so it has strong roots. Well, it is a root, so it is very strong. I think we all have strong roots in the Lord.
Does God kill a kitten every time you masturbate?
Ben: We're going to have to find out.
Joshua: No.
Kris: That's scary.
If you would like to be profiled in Room, email tcg@sas.upenn.edu.
