Bid Day has come and gone, marking the single most important moment of your social existence. After much deliberation, you finally decided upon the sorority that you felt to be the best fit. But how can you really be sure if your sorority is the most suitable choice?
Obviously it is too early to tell, since you don't know your sisters that well yet. Fortunately, sororities have instituted a rigorous system of interviews among the pledges and the sisters to get the bonding train a-movin'.
Without an established bond with your sisters, how can you enjoy those group viewings of Say Anything? Moreover, how will you know which girl to trounce on during those late night tickle fights?
Now, such a disaster during the all-important tickling stage could have adverse consequences in the future. Failing to establish a conveniently awkward, quasi-sexual rapport with a sister at this critical juncture will put a damper on your remaining three years.
Enter the interview stage. Suffice it to say, the interview phase of the pledging process sets the foundations for acceptance, friendship and, most importantly, tickling.
To help all you pledges get through this most arduous period, our sorority experts have spent countless hours in the dark trenches of Cosi, eavesdropping on your fellow sisters' erudite discourses on Panhellenic politics and pregaming, and their tips on reporting the slutty sorority to OSC for drinking violations when some twat from said sorority makes with your supposed boyfriend.
The following is a sample interview that all you pledges can refer to in order to facilitate your subsequent intercourse with your new sisters.
Little Sister: So what's your major?
Big Sister: Communications, with a history minor.
Little: Hey, you know what's good? Food. I am really into food. How about you?
Big: I like food, too! Damn. We have so much in common! But hold on, I don't like salt.
Little: Me too. I mean I like salt, but not too much. That's just bad.
Big: But overall, food is good.
Little: Yeah.
Big: Hey, do you know the petite, mousy-haired pledge? What's her name?
Little: Oh, I know the one. She's a twat.
Big: No, I like her. So cute.
Little: That's what I mean. Uh... she's adorable. I mean she's an adorable twat. So do you like to travel?
Big: I like traveling. Europe?
Little: Yeah. Europe's beautiful. Venice, Rome, Paris -- gorgeous in the springtime. I like your cell phone.
Big: Yeah. But occasionally I get random phone calls. I never make random phone calls.
Little: Yeah. What are your plans for the weekend?
Big: Billybob.
Little: Me too! Maybe you and I can, like, share more of our common interests over Long Island iced teas. I like puppies, sunsets in Athens and kissing after fellatio. That's true love.
Big: Yeah. True love. You know what I hate?
Little: What?
Big: The things I hate.
Little: Me too. Me too. We have so much in common!
