1. The acquaintance you felt obligated to sit with in that huge lecture because you’re vulnerable to social pressures. Surprise: you’re both just using each other.
  2. The flake friend. This is the 4th time you’ve skipped out on our low–commitment Starbucks date. You're already failing at adult life.
  3. Conversely, the friend who literally can't go and eat a meal without asking you to join them.
  4. The Mooch. Be it the friend you’re constantly buying Allegros/drinks for or the one who always bums your notes from class.  Either way, drop her.
  5. Your shitty roommate. While you’re technically still stuck with this person for a couple more months, start the detachment process now. Come March you two will have mastered the art of being passive aggressive without saying anything. How thrilling.
  6. That freshman you dirty–rushed all first semester that ended up not joining your fraternity/sorority. I pulled for you. We could've been somebody.
  7. The last resort booty call. This person isn't even in your top 5, yet you could always count on them to respond to your 2 a.m. "Wya" text.
  8. That friend who dips all of your texts but acts like it's nothing when you see them in person. Fuck you. I am important.
  9. The degenerate who can't hold their liquor. Your party animal antics were fun at first, but now you're a legitimate liability every weekend. Also can you please keep drinking the water? I promise you're gonna feel soooooo much better.
  10. That fuckboi. You deserve someone who treats you like the bomb–ass person you really are. But more importantly, you deserve someone who understands what the word reciprocation means. Furiously fingering me for a minute does not count. 

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