• Okay, so you wear workout clothes to class. (We all know you aren’t actually going to Pottruck; you have a computer with you.) We want you to push it farther. Now that we know you can wear running shorts to an academic function, why not present your thesis while presenting your legs in spandex?
• Spray paint your sneakers gold so you can wear them out dancing and people will think they’re heels. People won’t notice the type of shoe—just the sparkle. Plus, if there are creepy guys at the club, you’ll be able to run away much faster.
• Yoga pants make your ass look great. Fact. Why not wear them to a formal? Your ass will be like, Pippa Middleton level. All your friends’ dates will be like, “Who’s that girl with the hot booty?” “I think that’s Jessica’s roommate?” “I thought she was someone’s cousin?” But you’ll just be yolo–ing in your yoga pants (yogaloing) like it aint no thang.
• One word: crop tops. Okay, two words: crop tops. Everyone is wearing them rn. 2015 fashion is like one big Buffy the Vampire Slayerrerun and no one knows why, but what we do know is crop tops. But what is a crop top if not really a stretched out sports bra?
• Sweatbands are great for keeping your hair out of your face during Zumba, but they’re also very useful during exams or presentations. All of your nervous sweat will be mopped up before you can say, “Shit, am I wearing deodorant?” And you’ll look fresh to death.
• You know what’s crazy? No one wears leotards anymore. What’s up with that? What better way is there to say “I am sexy, fun and I know all the jazzercise moves that’ll drive the men crazy?” Wear it on a first date to show him what kind of girl you are.
• But this isn’t just for women—men already wear workout clothes fucking everywhere. Just keep doing you, dude.
