(Ed. note: Someone actually took the time to make and submit this. Meow!)
We See What You’re Going For, But…
Shoutout to castle for sucking
How is there ago ogle form here. (Ed. note: this is exactly how it was written)
To the guy who I very specifically remember had door duty at a TEP Halloween party last year and was dressed as Augustus Caesar: You know who you are. And you can go fuck yourself. If it were the 1400s and I was a European colonist I would purposefully give you a blanket full of smallpox.
Just Plain Sad
To Street: You've published my shoutouts every semester... on the worst shoutouts list. Thank you for crippling my self esteem, I thought I had a sense of humor.
To my friends: I hate you. Like, almost all of you. I've never felt lonelier than when I know you're all I have. Stop being assholes.
Hey sorry can I recall a shoutout? Something to do with a gay joke. I think it'll be really bad for him to read that. Thanks for understanding. (Ed. note: we didn’t print it. We printed this though...)
To Zeta Tau Alpha: I am so glad I found this amazing sisterhood. I would literally have no friends without you!!!!
What?
Hadji is the best rapper dapper fapper!
Shout out to that whom they call the Panda-Mouse!
You Used a Real Name, But That Wasn’t the Problem
doosk holmes
Can you tell this is me? -Jordyn
To all the Robs out there: you guys are T. best
This definitely was NOT written by Susanna -Madeline Sophie
Kids in Apes Doing Normal Things
Kids in Apes order Flatizza's from Subway because they think they're healthy.
Kids in Apes listen to Leona Lewis
Kids in Apes never put the toilet seat up while they pee
Kids in Apes abide by the one-drink-an-hour rule
Slurm
Slurm
Read the best Shoutouts here.
