Holy. Shit. Holy shit. I need to tell you about my fall break. No, shut up, I don’t care that you saw your grandma in the hospital. This is important.
I went to Montreal. Do you know about Montreal? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT MONTREAL?
Montreal is amazing. It’s like going to Europe but you don’t have to fly! We did fly actually, because like I wasn’t going to sit on a train forever. But still, it’s so close.
And it’s so exotic! People were speaking French all over the place. Well, technically Quebecois, which is different. But don’t worry about it, it’s hard to understand if you haven’t been to Montreal.
I really think the Montreal lifestyle is just perfect for me. Like, I loved all the bars. Where I could drink. Because the drinking age is 19. In Montreal, they realize people are mature enough to handle themselves at 19. It makes America seem so silly.
So anyway, after my sixth jager bomb, I met this guy named Jean–Pierre–Claude. He was so hot, like everyone in Montreal and I saw him in this club and just started hooking up with him. He promised to call me soon, but it’s hard because he said Montreal phones are different from American phones and they can’t call each other.
Alright, I have to go upload the 500 photos I took of myself in my Montreal jacket. Adieu! Haha, that just means goodbye. It’s a Montreal thing.
