1) Want to get kinky? Try being submissive, as a woman you are probably told to be it in every other facet of your life anyways.
2) Blindfold him. Sensory deprivation is not only a way to interact with the other senses, but it also prevents him from seeing you if you haven't shaved this week. As a woman, you should be shaving regularly. OR ELSE.
3) Try using food in the bedroom, but probably just salad, because the media dictates what you should be eating. You're still trying to lose that weight so you'll fit in with mainstream beauty standards, right? Whipped cream is not THAT delicious, right?
4) Do not try "butt stuff" because men have internalized their homophobia. Any act perceived as a reversal of standard gender divides will make him uncomfortable.
5) Try a sexy costume. A nurse, a maid, a school teacher or any other traditionally female job. Have him be the boss and have him make you work for your 73 cents on the dollar.
6) These tips have all been formulated for cisgendered straight couples. Because, like, what else would they be?
