So your professor banned laptops—what’s a tired, hungover student to do?
1. Listen to the chorus of hacking coughs, delightfully accompanied by a symphony of sniffles.
3. Buy watch. Wear watch. Stare at watch.
4. Daydream about that one time you rode a Vespa abroad—or those twelve times you’ve watched “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” in preparation for one day riding a Vespa abroad. This is what dreams are made of.
5. Pay attention.
7. Continue to chug your Venti Double Shot in hopes of maybe staying awake.
8. Doodle. If drawing circles and squiggles or signing “Mrs. Harry Styles” aren’t your thing, take it to the next level with the person next to you and invite them to play tic–tac–toe.
9. Check watch again. See only four minutes have passed. Whimper.
10. If it gets too unbearable, drop the class. There’s always next semester!