The Top 5 Reasons You Don't Mess With The Gallaghers
1. Fiona has been raising 5 kids since she was 15.
If you think that finding out your dad is gay is a bigger tragedy than digging up a dead body, Fiona will be the first to tell you that you’re dead wrong. You’ll have to do better than putting tacks in her register if you want to threaten her. To her, that’s child’s play.
2. Ian is training for West Point.
Ian is jumping through tires, climbing up wall, and dodging bullets. He has no shame in sleeping with his sister’s boyfriend’s dad. He won’t think twice about robbing you in broad daylight. A bullet in the ass is a mere bump in the road for Ian and his South Side crew.
3. Debbie will almost drown you at the city pool.
Make fun of Debbie for being flat at the city pool or make it look like she had her period in public and she’ll hold you underwater until you’ve almost drowned. She can hold her breath underwater for more than a minute. This is one guppy you don’t want to “F” with.
4. Frank will bury you in the backyard and steal your social security checks.
You died but no one knows and you still get social security checks? Don’t worry, Frank will bury you in his yard and make sure to cash them to buy booze. He’ll put them to good use. And then he’ll try to dig up your body to avoid a life sentence.
5. Lip will kick you out if you do nice things for him.
Do Lip’s laundry, pitch in around the house, and show up uninvited to help him sell weed and fireworks off an ice cream truck. Then, Lip will yell at you and kick you out without reservation. However, Lip isn’t all sin. Maybe if you’re lucky, he’ll ask for an apology.