Guy: For a while it was funny, but now I just fucking hate her.
Girl on Locust: Hipster rabbi hit on me again at Hillel.
Tridelt: I haven’t been to a downtown in years… like two weeks.
Sophomore: She’s not fat. She just looks fat standing next to me.
Girl: And that’s when he said, “I can’t live without you. We have to stay together.” And I was like “Ok.”