HighbrowFebruary 27, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Ask Miss Cassandra: Of Scissors and Supposedly Sinister Misters

How do lesbians scissor?

I am going to stop you right there. I am guessing you are a straight male and watch a considerable amount of porn. Here’s the deal, I know somewhere between your frat brothers, Playboys, and reruns of “South Park”, you got the idea that to have sex lesbians just rub their vaginas together. This is absolutely not true. Don’t feel bad; it is a hugely common mistake, but it leads to two way more troubling misconceptions.

The first being that queer women don’t have rich fulfilling sex lives. There are a lot of things that two women can do other than try to arbitrarily rub up against each other. Another misconception is that queer women always need to use strap-ons or dildos. I mean it happens, but men have an odd way to “insert themselves” into the process, if you know what I mean. There does not have to be anything penis shaped to have sex and many women don’t.

The second is that men who think “lesbians scissor” probably do not know much about the vagina or how it works. While scissoring could, hypothetically, lead to some kind of pleasure, it does not stimulate the clitoris as much as needed to produce any kind of orgasm. The clitoris is located right above the opening of the urethra (in layman’s terms at the top of the vag) and this extremely sensitive area would not only be stimulated by the rather inexact method of scissoring, but it could also damage the fragile area. You have to learn how to work with the clitoris.

So short answer, they don’t.

How do I know if my boyfriend is cheating on me? He is in a frat and he parties a lot and the next day there’s always pictures of him with other girls.

I’m going to be real with you. It does not look good. Frat boys are notoriously unfaithful, but it is hard to know if he is a good man or just another boy. Short of walking in on him with another girl’s tongue in his mouth, you might never know if he is a Don Draper or a dapper gentleman.

Try not to be one of these though

This being said, you aren’t out of options. There are always ways to gain a little better handle on the situation. You can Nancy Drew it. Look into these girls, do some facebook research, see if they talk like bros, if they lived on the same hall freshman year, etc. Then you are probably pretty safe. You can ask around. Maybe your friends have seen things, but talking to his brothers will get you nowhere. While, the snooping solution sometimes works, it is not the best for fostering the healthiest relationship. You may figure out more than you wanted to know or if he is faithful you run the risk of losing his trust.

The better solution is talk to him. Ask him, even if he may not tell the truth. If he is cheating, he probably won’t, but he will know that this is a concern. He should listen to your feelings even if he is faithful, and if he isn’t, he might not be worth keeping anyway. If he’s cheating, he may be shamed out of it. It is college, people do some dumb things, you deserve a good guy whether it’s the one you’re with or not.

Want to ask Miss Cassandra a question? Submit anonymously using the “Ask” box on the homepage of 34st.com. Or send any questions via e-mail to highbrow@34st.com.

 
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