FilmFebruary 24, 2013 at 12:06 pm

Oscars Drinking Game

STREET brings you its very own, new and improved Oscars drinking game

They might not allow any alcohol at the actual ceremony (but they do at the Golden Globes… makes a lot of sense), but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t spend your night as Best Drunk. Trust us, by the end of this drinking game, you might need a seat-warmer to show you out.

PRE–SHOW

Take a drink if:

• Quvenzhane Wallis brings her puppy purse

 —Someone asks her if she’s figured out what an Oscar is

• Jennifer Lawrence says something adorable and self–deprecating (example:

“chubby fingers,” that she’s geeking out about other celebs, etc.)

—She talks about her dress malfunction at the SAG Awards

• Ben Affleck is asked about his directing snub

• Anyone mentions Twitter, tweets–per–minute, or “trending”

 —Take a shot if you get all three in one sentence!

• Someone mentions the 2011 Oscars hosted by Anne Hathaway and James Franco

• Someone is confused by the “mani–cam”

• Someone says it’s just an honor to be nominated

• Someone’s bowtie is askew

• Someone trips on their dress or has trouble getting down the stairs

• Ryan Seacrest pretends to know the name of a star’s plus–one

• The E! women insist upon talking about their own outfits and prep time

• A nominee arrives 5 minutes before the red–carpet show ends

 

OSCARS 

Take a drink if:

• Seth MacFarlane looks stiff and uncomfortable on stage (use your best judgment—example: head–bobbing)

—He smiles through a punch line

—He makes a Nazis or Hitler joke that somehow references Christoph Waltz or Michael Haneke

• Seth MacFarlane sings

  —Take a shot if: someone from the audience joins him

  —Take another if it’s Anne Hathaway

• Someone thanks Harvey Weinstein

—Take a shot if: someone alludes to his famously intense campaigning

• Seth MacFarlane makes a joke about being an Oscar–nominee, just like

insert–name–of–famous–director–here

—He makes a face when his name is read

—Take a shot when: Ted shows up!

•Seth MacFarlane does an impression

—Finish your drink if: it’s Stewie!

• Adele’s voice cracks, but you love her anyway

• Anyone mentions the ages of Emmanuelle Riva and Quvenzhane Wallis

—Take a shot if: someone wishes Riva Happy Birthday!

• Someone mispronounces Quvenzhane Wallis’ name

• A presenter thrusts her leg through the slit in her dress, à la Jolie

• Anne Hathaway does a Taylor Swift–surprise face

  —Finish your drink if: she cries!

• A loser resentfully smiles to camera

• Someone mentions Russell Crowe’s less–than–stellar singing in Les Mis

• Someone mentions the general god–like quality of either Spielberg or DanielDay–Lewis

• The orchestra plays someone off

 —Keep drinking until they stop talking

• Someone references Tommy Lee Jones’ infamous curmudgeonly face

—Take a shot if: they pan to him and he’s laughing!

—Finish your drink if: he isn’t!

• Seth MacFarlane makes a joke about a celeb, who does not laugh

• A winner says they didn’t prepare anything

• Anyone mentions Meryl Streep

• Someone says “Argo fuck yourself!”

• Someone makes a Bigelow–Cameron joke

—Take a shot if: it’s better than the one at the Globes!

• Someone mentions Jodie Foster’s “coming out” speech from the Globes

• Someone hits on Bradley Cooper

• Someone mentions the controversy surrounding Zero Dark Thirty

—Take a shot if: it’s during a too–political acceptance speech

• Someone forgets to thank the Academy in their speech

• Every time you don’t recognize someone during the In Memoriam montage (try to keep up!)

• Take a shot if: there is a legit upset in any major category

 
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