EgoJanuary 31, 2013 at 5:49 am

Shit Penn Kids Do, Part Deux

Ego proudly presents an ode to AlliedBarton and Bon Appetit. These beloved Penn personalities work in the dorms, dining halls and other campus establishments, and were eager to share their wildest memories of Quaker debauchery.

TYRRELL (Lower Quad Gate)

“A group of students always carry these dotted lunchboxes around and people try to take them. We have to calm it down sometimes.”


“It happened while I was working one of the night shifts earlier last year. These two students came in with no shoes on, just walking around and wandering the store. The kids looked like they were pissed drunk but they weren’t doing any harm, so I kind of let them do their thing. I was amused enough that I kind of let the no–shoes thing go. It was all good until one of the kids tried to steal a “get well” teddy bear right in front of me. I confronted the student, asked him to drop the teddy bear and took him to the office to get his photo taken. Well, now he’s permanently banned from Fresh Grocer, and we’ll never forget him because turns out his name was Teddy.”

(Upper Quad Gate)

“I saw a kid running from Locust Walk, completely out of it, try to actually jump over the gate. He totally wiped out.”

COREY (Huntsman)

“I personally witnessed the Hurricane Sandy streakers running down Locust Walk. That was pretty crazy. Also, in July, when I first started working here, I arrived to see a kid asleep in the bushes by Huntsman. When I woke him to ask if he was okay, he was really drunk and just said, ‘No, it’s fine, this is my bed. Leave me alone.’”

TYRIQUE (Everywhere)

“Outside a party near the high rises, a drunk girl was standing outside in her panties in the snow. What was she doing?! It was freezing outside. Also, during the hurricane, a bunch of kids came out in coats and spread their arms out in effort to fly. Needless to say, they didn’t.”

LISA (Harnwell)

“One time, I saw some kids practicing a dance in the lobby. Only some of them were good.”

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