HighbrowJanuary 16, 2013 at 5:30 pm

Ask Miss Cassandra: Condom Comfort and Sexile

A blast from the past, Street's very own Miss Cassandra has made a return from the unremembered 80s. Who is she? Our very own Dr. Ruth, sex guru and all–around new best friend.

I don’t like to wear condoms. What should I do?

Here’s the deal, man. That piece of flesh dangling between your legs that you like to play with in the shower and flash around the locker room? Yeah, that thing can create babies. Like, actual tiny humans. And it can also get all kinds of gross diseases depending on where you put it. That might seem obvious but I feel the need to repeat it here anyway.

It’s the bomb. The Jiss Bomb.

Sure, sex feels great. Sex without condoms feels great. But if you are old enough to be engaged in consensual sexual activity, you are old enough to know that it comes with responsibility. And ultimately this comes down to that. Are you responsible enough to deal with the consequences of your actions? If the answer to that is yes and your partner/one-night stand/fleshlight agrees, then do what you want, I’m a sex advice column, not your mother. But if you’re asking for my advice and not just a general “what are my options” answer, I’m telling you to suck it up and wrap it up. At least until you get into a steady relationship and you two can agree on another form of birth control, of which the options are numerous, although not all protect against STIs.

And ladies (and other gentlemen), this one’s for you. If you’re hooking up/hanging out/talking to a guy and he insists on not wearing a condom, that is a huge red flag. Especially if the relationship isn’t exclusive. Having a discussion about birth control is one thing, but a man asserting that his pleasure is more important that the health of both of you is serious and disturbing. Shut it down. Don’t be afraid to tell him that unless he bags it, he can’t have it.

Is there a polite way to sexile my roommate?

Ah, this is a toughie. What to do when time has expired in the game of tonsil hockey you and your partner are currently having on the dance floor? The obvious choice would be to head back to the bedroom for a little more intimacy, but not all of us were blessed with “totally random” singles in Riepe. We less fortunate have sleeping roommates to worry about. And whether we’re besties or enemies, neither of us will enjoy waking up to the grunts and groans of passionate Quaker whoopie happening in the other twin XL bed.

Instead, we resort to “sexiling:” the act of making our roommates sleep elsewhere in order to have the room to ourselves for a few hours. We all know it’s wrong and unfair, but at 3 AM on a Saturday night, our judgment is more than a little off (exhibit A: the person you’re about to sexile your roommate for).

If going to your partner’s room is out of the question, the best thing to do is try and arrange a place for your roommate to stay (another friend’s room, the lounge, a MERT study room, etc.) while you get it on. Having it all planned out ahead of time will make the sexiling go smoother, especially if your roommate is hoping for a good night’s sleep. Of course, the polite thing to do would be to be respectful and not sexile. We hear the showers are a good alternative.

Ask Miss Cassandra your questions by emailing them to highbrow@34st.com or submitting anonymously using the box below.
Ask Miss Cassandra, Street's own sex guru, anything you like.
One Person has left comments on this post

By JPS on January 16, 2013 at 5:30 pm

“neither of us will enjoy waking up to the grunts and groans of passionate Quaker whoopie happening in the other twin XL bed.”

Literally wet myself.

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