MusicDecember 6, 2012 at 5:58 am

Rock of Ages

The musical evolution of Peter Hess

AGE 5: N*Sync
At the tender age of five, Pete was already deeply entranced by the world of music. The world was his oyster, a wide–open door he knew he must soon enter. Of course, with any brave new world comes tragedy, and this is certainly true in Pete’s case — ice cream cones dropped, parental punishments delivered and, of course, the ephemeral nature of love were all on his mind. That’s where N*Sync came in. When Pete first heard the harmonious farewells of “Bye Bye Bye,” he knew all would be well, even the cooties. N*Sync brought him comfort, and the Reverend Justin Timberlake became a role model and guide for Pete. We cried when Britney cheated on him too, Pete. We did.

 

 


AGE 10: Maroon 5
No, we ain’t talkin’ no moves like Jagger. At 10, Pete had already started branching out, leaving the classic boy band croons of Timberlake and crew behind and picking up some rocker cred. Really though, it’s all about the heartbreak -— Pete needed a pick–me–up, needed to know that he too would be loved. 2002 was a good time (if not the best time) to be a Maroon 5 fan. In those heady days, Pete was in fourth grade and Maroon 5 was still actually a band, instead of a bunch of nameless bearded guys who follow Adam Levine’s cheekbones around.

 

AGE 15: Lifehouse
The rest of us may have forgotten Lifehouse by 2007, but the high school iteration of Pete kept a special place in his heart for this group of Cali balladeers. Those simmering, dreamy eyes. The perfectly highlighted blonde bangs. That music video where the vocalist sings in a train station while a dude who looks vaguely like Dave Grohl stalks a hot chick carrying a suitcase. How could we ever have moved on?  Lucky for Pete, Lifehouse is set to release their sixth album next week. Lifehouse groupies, rejoice!

 

 

 

AGE 20: Eminem
Pete’s music taste took an angry, darker turn in 2012. He picked himself up some Marshall Mathers mixes and started yelling a lot. While Pete himself has never been embroiled in any kind of domestic abuse scandal (you would never do such a thing, Pete!), Eminem helps Pete de–stress and rid himself of rebellion. The rage, the pyromania, the tying of Rihanna to a bed — it’s the perfect mix for the modern man. Still, we can’t help but wonder if there’s another reason for your love of Eminem, Pete. Who hurt you, Peter? Who hurt you?

 
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