Thanksgiving may be over, kittens, but you know, gossip never sleeps. Highbrow loves nothing more than family holidays abundant with alcohol and political election backlash. It just makes us feel so at home.
We weren’t the only ones making ourselves at home this holiday season, apparently. Most of you know that Owls has lived in the same off–campus house at 40th and Pine for over 20 years, but Highbrow hears the birds have been forced to fly the nest. The newly–formed APES boys swooped in and signed the lease before the current residents could renew. Allegedly, the Owls offered them $250,000 dollars for their crib back, but no dice: the former AEPi boys weren’t budging. It looks like 4k Pine has finally switched species.
Skulls may have been given the death sentence earlier this semester, but that hasn’t stopped them from stirring up trouble. After one Skulls senior angrily threw a sofa down the stairs and broke a banister, the whole fraternity was informed that they were no longer permitted to spend time in the house, and that the senior in question would be charged the entire security deposit for the house. This prompted the boys to ransack the house, stealing anything they might want: composites and furniture, among other things. Very Robin Hood if you ask us, except in this situation, most people are rich.
The Phone Thief has struck again, and apparently this time he had his eye on a cappella groups. After one Penny Loafer had her phone stolen, naturally her friends texted it. The thief replied to the Penny Loafers textserv, saying things like, “This isn’t your friend’s phone anymore. Stop texting me.” Ouch, that would be a real headache, kind of like “Penn’s Steppin’ Up.” Maybe it’s karma?
From what we heard, Theos’s second annual Thoodser (Theos Woodser, get with it, god) was surprisingly non–dramatic. The rave–in–the–forest theme remained, and just like last year, attendees were supposed to wear all white. Later, this made for some pretty ridiculous Instagrams when the bus driver pulled over and a hundred or so people dressed head–to–toe in white squatted to use a field as their personal bathroom. We wish there was something more scandalous, but that’s all we’ve got.