Shit My Professors Say

“Now you’re prepared to have all of those important sex–related conversations.” –Alison Howard, French

“DO YOUR LAUNDRY. And I refuse to elaborate on how I know this!” –Jonathan Moreno, Philosophy

“Guys, I just can’t wait to play with my toys today!” –Anthony Petrovito, Chemistry

“There is nothing wrong with finding a spouse in college. In fact, it’s kind of efficient.” –Kent Bream, Hill House Dean

“Of course you agree with me. You have to if you want to get an A!” –Hocine Fetni, Sociology

“Who here has tried cocaine?” [Name Redacted for Obvious Reasons]

“100 years from now the robots will take over and you all will have to justify your own existence.” –Aaron Silberstein, Math

“Law isn’t always the best way to resolve conflict. Sometimes, you just want to punch someone in the face.” –Hocine Fetni, Sociology