Guide to the Penn/Princeton Game

Do:
Pee before you get on the bus.
BYO alc. Princeton is like…in the middle of nowhere.
Insta the shit of it.
Plan your outfit well in advance. This is a crucial event to SABS.
Find a Princeton slampiece.

Don’t:
Care too much about the actual game. We’re all for school spirit, but our team name is the Quakers.
Puke on the eating club lawns. They look like Wisteria Lane, and if you tarnish them you shall be shunned.
Make constant references to Jewish summer camp. You’re not in Kansas anymore, Penn Jews! Princetonians prefer talk of Nantucket houses and Vineyard Vines.