Let’s start this off with a big ol’ congratulations to you for surviving Family Weekend! Snaps to you. Our parents left us alone like Katie Holmes left Tom Cruise. Ugh, we’re over it. But your parents being here didn’t stop you guys from leaving us with more than enough to gossip about.
Since we love you so much, we’re bringing you a two–for this week: a psycho professor and a psycho student. Apparently, in one class in Huntsman, the professor hates it when students are late — so much so that he’ll consider you late, even if you’re two minutes early. To rectify this cray–cray situation, one student took matters into her own hands, sneaking into Huntsman in the middle of the night and changing the clocks, so no one is never late again! Huzzah! You tell us: genius or deranged?
Things got a little salty over at Charles Plaza this weekend. Apparently SK booked the place for their date party, but OZ was hosting a dirty rush event there too. Natch, insanity ensued. While the boys insisted on blaring house music, the girls kept changing it to pop hits like Carly Rae Jepsen and One Direction. A battle of one–upmanship ensued, with both sides chanting and singing “Happy Birthday,” trying to be louder than the other. Just make out already: it’ll be faster and everyone ends up happy.
Are you ever overcome with a lack of cowboys carrying old–school Nokia camera phones in your life? Well fret no longer! Highbrow hears there’s one spending his time on 40th, taking pictures of families and making sexist comments to girls. That’s so #NotCool. Giddyup, partner.
Rock the vote! Michelle Obama’s nephew visited Penn this weekend and partied at APES. One drunk girl was heard shouting, “I voted for Obama,” while others chanted out “Romney, Romney, Romney!” Democrat party or Republican party? Why choose? Everyone can be a part of the frat party. (Not you, seniors. Enjoy Smoke’s.)