Freshman: My marketing textbook was $350 but I bursared it, which means it’s free, or something.
Girl: I hate when I think I find a cute dress in Urban and then pick it up and it’s like, “Fuck you, I’m a romper.”
Bro: The way college has conditioned me to ignore fire alarms is why and how I’m going to die.
Girl 1: All you think about is food, boys and school.
Girl 2: What else is there to think about -— Judaism?
Starbucks employee: I’ve got a grande iced water for Mary!