Welcome, welcome, Penn lovies, new and old, sullen, cynical, bright and beautiful, to The Round Up. For those of you who don’t know, we’re Penn’s weekly source of all things scandalous and shameful. You probably don’t want to end up here, unless you have a penchant for the dramatic.
…And we’re back with MTV Cribs: Penn Edition. We left off last year on a real cliffhanger wondering whether or not AEPi’s transformation into Apes would be a success. The verdict’s still out, but the boys jumped their first hurdle by scoring a sick Walnut pad. This place has everything: a fully stocked kitchen, ivy-covered stone, a huge basement and, best of all, a “solarium,” which is basically an all glass room where they, like, smoke and hang out and stuff. We’ll admit, we’re pretty jealous.
Freedom! Bravery! Beer! ‘Merica! All of these and more at the Made in America festival, which happened over NSO. Surprisingly, only one person was arrested, an unaffiliated sophomore boy, which is pretty impressive even for our illustrious university. But even more impressive are the trumped–up charges, which amount to…stealing a single beer. Not exactly grand larceny. He was ultimately released with 18 hours of community service. Maybe he should stick to BYO–ing next time. At least the chances of arrest are lower.
SDT’s chapter house has gone to the dogs. Girls were panicking when a bug was found in their chapter room and the rumors started swirling soon after: SDTs have fleas. Exterminators brought in a dog to sniff out the little devils, and the girls were ordered to keep away from the house yesterday while it was fumigated. For next time, maybe a flea collar would be less expensive.
Some rowdy frat seemed to have put the coke in Coca-Cola this weekend when they had a “you are what you drink” mixer, with hoards of sorority girls dressed as soda cans. While some seniors enjoyed some refreshments upstairs, the cops showed up, forcing the entire party into hiding on the second floor. Both parties got away scot–free, but not before the coked-out upperclassmen scared the sophs even more than the cops. Fun, fun, fun.
Until next week, kiddies.