If your fridge could talk, here’s what it’d say around page 217 of your college experience.
Your mini–fridge is an utter mess of NSO free samples (what was that weird European yogurt?), stolen desserts from Convocation, the food your mom bought you so you could stay healthy and your roommate’s stuff. Except you ate your roommate’s mac & cheese one night at 3 a.m. Oops. Better to buy microwave popcorn and call it a day.
You just moved off campus. You need to stock this fridge with food for the healthy adult lifestyle you’re planning for yourself. This means lots of things you will never use, including but not limited to: pre–cut veggies, microwavable eggs and fresh juices (or worse, a juicer). Also, you have lots of alcohol “casually” chilling because you no longer have to hide it.
This is the year: OCR is right around the corner, the LSAT and the MCAT are weeks away, it’s time to get your life together. Your fridge is stocked with brain food: salmon, dark leafy greens, blueberries, all of which you ordered from Grubhub ‘cause who the hell has time to cook with so many interviews to prep for? There’s also a 12–pack of Yuengling because Bud Light is such an underclassmen thing.
There’s no food in your fridge because you’re going to spend the next ten months consuming all your calories in alcoholic form. Here’s what you have: lots of bottled water (for your hangovers), a handful of Vitamin Water Zero’s (ditto) and a half–gallon of chocolate milk from Wawa because it’s dawned on you that you’re old and you just want to feel young again.