Ah, senior societies, the staple of ivy–covered universities everywhere. Highbrow was passed over for Ego this year (those bitches), but we didn’t want to be in Sphinx anyway. Don’t worry, though, we still got the down low low–down.
Not everyone was a happy camper while getting tapped for senior societies this week. Sources tell us Friars were being a bit too rowdy when they visited one female inductee’s house, to the point where her housemates thought they were being robbed. Apparently, one of them was so scared that she hid in her closet and called the cops. Maybe try being a little more stealth next time, guys. But why let Friars have all the fun? Mortarboard covered their inductees in clam juice and chocolate from head–to-–toe. Hmm, cops or clam juice? We’ll take what’s behind door number three, please.
You may think it’s hard getting into Blarney with a fake ID, but some of us have bigger problems. We hear ATO has been banned for life from the Irish establishment, after a 40–person brawl angered the managers and staff. Not sure how they’d enforce that, but Highbrow hears the brothers have been keeping their distance, hitting up Copa and Smoke’s instead.
It looks like Tabard girls are finally in the home stretch of their pledging, ending a semester of vicarious embarrassment for all of us. Congrats, girls! But that doesn’t mean they’re getting off easy. In a task that was tres Parisien, the girls had to sport mime make–up and walk down Locust, carrying umbrellas and miming along the way. We’re also told that some had to don swim caps while others were asked to draw on unibrows for a look that was possibly avant–garde, but probably just bizarre. Keep on keeping on, freshies, pretty soon you’ll be sisters and you’ll get to inflict this torture on others. Loves it!
Hot Highbrow fashion tip #672: nothing spices up an outfit like some bodily fluids. For girls modeling the trend, look no further than SDT. At a frat party last week, sources spotted three of the sorority’s freshmen get in the way of some projectile vomiting by frat brothers. Yuck. Unfortunately for them, the bathrooms were either occupied or off–limits so the girls wandered the party for a while covered in puke before opting to go home and clean up. Really brings a new meaning to the phrase “sick outfit,” doesn’t it?