TEP guy: We’ve got to keep all the doors locked. Otherwise we’re gonna get squatters.
Tridelt: I’ve always wanted to be in an overheard. I feel like I’m a prime candidate.
Girl 1: Is that jizz on your sweatpants?
Girl 2: It might be … Fine! It’s ice cream!
Woman: Do you know where International House is?
Student: You mean IHOP?
Girl: And then I told him “No glove no love.”
Guy: I love that! I’m gonna tweet that shit.
Guy on Locust: Cancer pisses me off.