Reasons Your Potential Employers Haven’t Gotten Back to You
1. The volume of qualified candidates this year has exceeded their expectations.
2. You listed your GPA on your resume.
3. You referred to Ashley Park as Ms. instead of Mr. in your cover letter, you gender–normative pig.
4. When asked about your relevant experience, you mentioned being Editor–in–Chief of your high school’s weekly newsletter.
5. You couldn’t calculate the number of people in the U.S. that wear yellow on a given Sunday afternoon.
6. Your handshake was too limp.
7. Your mom called in as one of your references.
8. You didn’t write a thank–you letter. ARE YOU NOT THANKFUL? ARE YOU EVEN AWARE OF THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IN THIS ECONOMY, YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH?
9. You sent your application from an @verizonwireless.net account.
10. You forgot to make your Myspace account private.