If you're a Fling virgin, don't stress. Let us help you make the most of your first time. It won't hurt, we promise.
Ask someone what happens in the Quad during Fling, and their first answer (after blacking out, fist fighting RA’s and using unlocked rooms as carpeted port–a–potties) will probably be Fried Oreos. Fat. Oil. Guilt. What more could you want?
When To Go: All day, every day.
Don’t Miss: The FlingSafe and SPEC volunteers jumping to the front of the line for instant trans–fatty goodness.
Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Three. Sober enough to keep it down, drunk enough to not hate yourself for it.
For the low, low price of your dignity, you can immortalize your drunken stupor for all of time with the Fling Photo Booth. Gather your amigos, wait in line and try to keep your eyes open.
When To Go: Whenever you’re feeling a Kodak moment.
Don’t Miss: The opportunity to throw the pregame of the year. Who needs some freshman’s nasty–ass dorm room when you have a hot, closet–sized metal box equipped for all your binge–drinking needs?
Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Five. Get wasted enough to take some quality shotz, but not so smashed that your tank’s covered in vom. Nobody wants that.
This plush palace is the perfect place to confound your inner ears and “accidentally” collapse atop your equally wasted crush. A warning though: bouncy castles may become slippery when wet… with your vomit. And other bodily fluids.
When To Go: Early. Trust us.
Don’t Miss: The exposed bare feet of everyone whose exposed bare feet you never wanted to see.
Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Do everyone a favor and leave the Moonbounce for the so-
Disney A Cappella
Fling may host some of the most impressive musical groups on campus, such as Off the Beat and Quaker Notes, but our hearts belong to Walt. We hope they do the “Pink Elephant on Parade” song from Dumbo. Underage drinking has never been so cute.
When To Go: Friday at 1:15 p.m.
Don’t Miss: The crowd of people proudly slurring the chorus of “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” then mumbling their way through the verses.
Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Only one. Everyone loves Disney, wasted or not. Except if the song’s from Tarzan. Then drink a ton. Phil Collins is shit.
Mask & Wig
They close the show every year for a reason. These boys commit — to their tour, to their characters, and now, hopefully, to tradition. C’mon! Don’t be shy! Whip them out! Sincerely, every girl on campus.
When To Go: Saturday at 5 p.m.
Don’t Miss: Do we really have to write anything here?
Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Depends. How much do you want to remember?
Hillel Pancake Breakfast
The Jews (or, um, the entire school) have it rough this year. Passover is a total buzzkill. Luckily, Hillel knows the best way to deal with pain is through food — specifically, delicious, delicious carbs. Pour some syrup over these babies, then call your mother. She misses you.
When To Go: Saturday from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m.
Don’t Miss: The oppressive cloud of Passover–fueled gastronomical FOMO.
Minimum Number of Drinks For Maximum Enjoyment: Zero! Really, Torah? Not even some Manischewitz?