Best of the Roundup

Most Likely to Get Arrested:

One Frat’s Run–in with the DEA
Remember when one Locust frat got a pound of pot delivered to their house and the DEA found out? Super smooth, guys.

Best Spring Break Story:
The Puerto Vallarta Foursome
Things really heated up in PV over Spring Break, where two Thebros and two Thehos got down to some business. Last year’s threesome turned into a foursome. ¡Picante!

Mas Loco:
The Case of the Missing Statue
Some dirty dealings went down over Spring Break at the OZ villa too. A Theos boy stole a $15,000 Mayan statue from the boys, who were going to have to pay for it, but he graciously returned it.

Best Pledging Story:
Tabard’s Groundhog Day Mix–up
Every February,Tabard girls have to dress up like groundhogs, popping out of the Button and singing every hour on the hour, but this year they fucked up and pulled the stunt a day early, so we got to enjoy it twice. Thanks!

Most Artistic:
Theta Manscaping
During the sorority’s annual scavenger hunt, one Theta girl  sweettalked a Theos boy into shaving a greek letter into a Beta boy’s crotch. Can you guess which letter?

Best Recycling of a Party Theme:
Theos Woodser
The Theos Woodser was the party of the century, although we predicted their rave in the forest would be creepy. Too bad they stole the idea from Tridelt…

Editors’ Choice:
James Franco’s Awkward Emails
When James Franco and one ZTA girl started emailing each other, everyone was jealous. That is, until we actually read the email and they were hella awkward.

Most Bro–tastic:
Shirtless Betas on SEPTA
After rocking out at Popped!, a few Betas were denied access to SEPTA because of their attire (or lack thereof). Remember: no shirt, no shoes, no SEPTA, everybody.

Best NSO Throwback:
Exclusive Wristband Party
The OZ and Phi Delt super VIP wristband party was a dick move for sure, but it kept out most of the annoying frosh and gave sorority girls a hot pink plastic bracelets to wear as a symbol of how cool they think they are. Cute!

Honorable Mention:
Best Overheard
Devastated dude: “Philly Diner closed for good?! Shoot me in the motherfuckin’ face!”