Top o’ the morning to ya, lads and lassies. We hope your St. Patty’s Day was filled with green beer a–flowing and few arrests a–made. Gingers finally got their day of glory, but the luck of the Irish wasn’t with some poor fellows this week, unfortunately.
One unlikely frat had their day in the sun this weekend. On a recent pledge trip to New York, Highbrow hears one new member had to get his belly button pierced — all the better for some fabu sunbathing. But that’s not all that happened on this totally frat–tastic excursion. Sources tell us that the boys also got caught up in bar fight. Wow, just in time for St. Patty’s Day, guys. Don’t worry, dear readers, the fight was broken up rather quickly by two large ex–Marines. No word on what started the fight, but the super cool belly button ring probably didn’t help.
Has anybody else noticed College Green has been significantly less … green recently? And we’re not talking about the grass. Sources say Tabard girls have been asked to move from their regular spot outside of VP by the university because of their very public displays of “new member education.” They’ve taken things in a new direction, and have taken up residence at the tables by the compass.
The Erin Express wasn’t all co–eds looking for a little leprechaun love on St. Patty’s Day. The bars were packed with 50–year–old guys, who maybe got a little too frisky on the day of mirth. We hear that the guys had to be reminded several times to … um, keep their clothing on. Come on, no one wants to see your beer bellies and Irish potatoes, guys.
Our male readers might want to avert their eyes for our next story. Supposedly before the OZ St. Patty’s Day party, one SDT senior broke an OZ sophomore’s … “member” over the weekend, necessitating a trip to the emergency room. Ouch! Needless to say, he never made it to the party. Sources tell us he’s fine, but Highbrow is grimacing in pain for him. Maybe he should be counting his blessings — at least the SDT didn’t give him an STD too.