EgoMarch 22, 2012 at 5:32 am

Extreme Merchandise Makeover

Why settle for an object’s original use when you can use it creatively?

Thermos
Retail Cost: $16.98
Regular Use: Make it alive to your 9 a.m. class in style with this butt–ugly, postmodern attempt at a thermos!
Repurposed Use: Cram it full of things that make you warm/fuzzy/nostalgic (i.e. failed papers, vom–stained Fling tanks, pictures of skanky exes) and it makes the perfect time capsule! The people of the future won’t even know what hit them.

Voice Amplifiers
Retail Cost: $3.98
Regular Use: Annoy everyone around you at football games (as if you even go) with this noise amplifier!
Repurposed Use: Traffic cones for partitioning off seating at Greek Lady. Watch those SDT girls try to steal your booth now.

Quaker Plushie
Retail Cost: $24.98
Regular Use: For the low, low price of $25, this plush Quaker doll will watch you every night while you sleep … and wait … watch and wait..
Repurposed Use: Kindling.

Ben Franklin Poster
Retail Cost: $24.98
Regular Use: Stick this awkward fabric poster up on your wall and awaken each day to a little wisdom from B–Frankz.
Repurposed Use: Doormat! Toilet seat cover! Bath towel! Small, impractical blanket! The uses of knowledge really are limitless.

Dog Jersey
Retail cost: $19.98
Regular Use: Show that your Shih Tzu barks for the Red and the Blue with this adorable dog jersey. Also: perfect as a Puppy Bowl uniform.
Repurposed Use: Well, it’s at least six sizes smaller than a regular t–shirt … meaning that it shows just the right amount of skin for Halloween 2012.

Gigantic Mug
Retail Price: $16.78
Regular Use: A larger–than–average bowl for your larger–than–average tea drinker.
Repurposed Use: Shot glass! CHUG IT. CHUG IT.

Glass Vase
Retail Price: $550
Regular Use: Using the same fine glass techniques normally reserved for your grandma’s drawing room, this is the perfect vase to hold your hydrangeas.
Repurposed Use: Class up your dorm room with these beautiful glass bed risers.

 
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