This cheerleader is an awful liar, obsesses over the word “obsessed” and speaks out against the atrocity that is the Penn toast–throwing tradition.
Street: What’s your best cheer?
Ruani Ribe: “P–E–N–N, Let’s go Penn, exclamation point.” I used to be the exclamation point when I was a freshman. That was the highlight of my Penn career. Now I’m big and old.
Street: Have you ever had a sudden urge to throw off a cheer pyramid?
RR: No, no, not at all. Once you’re up there, you literally squeeze as tight as you can and hope you stay up there. Not hope, I mean. You usually do.
Street: Which two people, fictional or nonfictional, would you want in your pyramid?
RR: I think I would choose some sexy men. Maybe some Calvin Klein underwear models underneath me — or on top of me — holding me up. Like David Beckham. Oh my god, my boyfriend is going to kill me.
Street: What’s your guilty pleasure?
RR: Reality TV. I don’t watch anything else. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of O.C. … I feel like I’m friends with all them and invested in their lives.
Street: You’re stuck in an elevator. What do you do?
RR: Honestly, I’m such a freak, I’d just start freaking out. Maybe when that’s over I’d just start counting things. Counting the buttons. The ceiling tiles. I’d imagine horrible scenarios, like in that James Franco movie where he has to chop off his arm.
Street: Give us two truths and a lie.
RR: I have ancestry that traces to the Mayflower, I have a twin sister… and I love cotton candy. Do you want to guess the lie?
Street: Well, I guess the last one because you paused…
RR: Wait! I’m kidding! They’re all true! I hate cotton candy. That’s what I meant to say.
Street: What’s your favorite Penn tradition?
RR: At the end of the games, definitely doing the “Red and Blue,” I just love watching all these people — especially all the old people, the 80 year–olds, getting out of the seats and standing up, and they know all the words. It gets me every time. Toast–throwing, not so much.
Street: Why not?
RR: I get hit with it. People sometimes cover the toast in mustard or jelly, but a lot of times we don’t just get toast, we get challah bread, Jimmy Johns, hoagie bread, bagels, pretzels. It’s more like the carbohydrate toss.
Street: Are they aiming at you guys?
RR: Oh yeah. Oh, they are totally aiming at us. They like, sometimes ball up the toast and throw it.
Street: Have you’ve ever been hit?
RR: I have, by toast. I tried to dodge it, you dodge one, but another one boomerangs. These things go in all kinds of directions. You never know where it’s gonna go.
Street: Is there anything you’d like to say those toast–throwers?
RR: They need better aim!